Advice Book. This Advice Book Book Report

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This too is a generalization

Dr. Judy is her most stereotypical in her section on "Men, women and dating" (chapter 13) where she informs men about women's desires and vice versa. She advises men for instance to send flowers -- but not all women like that. Some may prefer so -- called male trinkets such as books. She also advises men to cuddle; but some women may not like that either. To women, Dr. Judy advises that men like having a night out with the guys and would not profess devotion so soon. She also tells both men and women to adopt certain actions or to refrain from certain actions that may repel the other sex. Dr. Judy categorizes and by doing so (and refraining from telling her reader that she is doing so) is doing her reader a disservice.

She also categorizes in the stages of hooking. Nothing can be organized as neatly as Dr. Judy would like it to be -- neither personalities of the different genders nor the daring process itself. Ultimately, we are each individuals but Dr. Judy ignores this fact. She makes gendered expectations and writes her book in a way that would make us believe that there is only one type of relationship and one type of gendered style.

It is interesting too to note that in correspondence with most books on dating and love, Dr. Judy provides advice on psychical attractiveness. Her implications seem to be that physical attractiveness is more important for the woman than for the man in that she provides advice on grooming and on looking one's best and much of this seems to be geared towards the female reader.

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Western assumptions too place great emphasis on the 'Barbie' looks of the girl giving the impression that it is the man, more than the female, who is attracted to looks.

A recent study, however, conducted in Brigham Young university in 2012 showed that contrary to expectations, women are more interested in looks than men. Men take other elements into consideration such as confidence and character. Physical attractiveness, the researchers found was the strongest predictor of endurance of romantic attachment and was more meaningful for females than for males. A relatively large sample was used (n=242). Problems with the study, however, may be that not only was this conducted on a college sample (and feelings may differ amongst adults), but that his was also conducted on a sample that was not mainstream, i.e. On a Latter-day Saint (LDS) sector of young single adults. The study, however, does support my observation that categorical statements simply cannot be stated regarding dating (or any social field). Individual behavior varies so widely and expectations as well as values and norms of love differ so dramatically that no categorizations can be made.

At the end of the day, prescriptions on dating differ from person to person and form culture to culture, and it is best that it be approached in a far more relaxed and individual way -- an s well as in a less stereotypical manner, than Dr. Judy approaches the subject......

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