Birth Order and Personality: An Term Paper

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Once I went to school, I became more comfortable around other children my age. Still, all through school I remember my peers saying I talked like an adult and knew many words they had never heard of. This was not deliberate because I preferred to fit in with my peers, but, as Adler points out (in Stein), an only child will often talk more like an adult because he or she communicates more with adults than with peers.

Socially, I remember always being very independent, and not wanting, or needing, to have a lot of people around me. Sometimes I actually disliked having people around, especially uninvited ones. I liked doing things by myself, and still do. I did have friends, but never a lot of them; it was more like one at a time. My best friend (was when I was about eight or nine years old) was a middle child, and very sociable by comparison. She had a lot of friends, and through her, I made other friends. But I probably would not have sought out those separate friendships on my own. Even now, in college, I am a bit of a loner, and tend to shy away from collaborative or "team" class projects because I would rather do all the work myself, and feel I could do it better that way. I do not like being thrown together with people and told to work with them, although when I am, I try to do the best I can and fit in with the group.

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But even now group work is hard for me, because I would rather be off on my own. I do enjoy the company of other people, people older than me, younger than me, and my peers, pretty much equally, although when I was younger I almost always preferred the company of older people. Now it just depends on how much I like the person, and usually I do not think about age anymore. I do enjoy being the center of attention (as Adler states) but only if it has to do with some achievement or aptitude of mine. Otherwise, I consider it intrusive, and try to direct attention to someone else so I can withdraw. Leman mentions that only children are very critical of themselves and others, and that is also definitely true of me.

All in all, I believe that most of the traits attributed to only children fit me well. My single parent mother was both overprotective and under-protective, and I think that has something to do with my having various "firstborn" doubts and insecurities, as also described by Adler and others.

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