Creative Storytelling Mystery Fiction Young Readers Essay

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A Welcome Note from Your Storyteller


Hi everyone! I\'m Linda, your octogenarian (that means I\'m in my 80s) storyteller. Won\'t you join me on the path to finding out \"Which Witch is Which?\" Throughout human history, storytellers have been the keepers of magic, wisdom, and wonder. Long before books existed, people would gather around fires or in village squares to listen to tales passed down through generations. These storytellers weren\'t just entertainers -- they were historians, teachers, and guardians of their culture\'s most important lessons. In ancient times, traveling storytellers would journey from town to town, carrying stories like precious treasures in their memories. They would share tales of heroes and adventures, teaching children about courage, kindness, and friendship along the way.
Even today, storytellers continue this ancient tradition, whether they\'re grandparents sharing bedtime stories, teachers reading to their classes, or authors writing books. Each storyteller adds their own special touch to the tales they share, keeping the ancient art of storytelling alive and helping young minds grow through the power of imagination.
Reading stories to and with young people has always brought me such joy. Over my forty years as a schoolteacher, I watched countless faces light up as we explored magical worlds together. Not a day goes by that I don\'t think about those bright eyes and eager minds – they made teaching the most rewarding career I could have imagined.
I’ll never forget the collective gasps when we reached surprising plot twists, or the thoughtful questions that showed how deeply my students engaged with each story. Even now in retirement, I still feel that spark of excitement when sharing a new tale.
And speaking of new tales, let me tell you about this book you\'re holding. Which Witch is Which? is a mystery where nothing is quite what it seems. Throughout the story, the true identities of our witchy characters remain hidden until the very end. While I\'ve scattered plenty of clues and hints along the way for sharp-eyed readers, you\'ll need to follow every twist and turn to uncover the truth of this witchy riddle.
What is the problem with “doppelwitches” (these are witches that look alike)? I’ll tell you what: you never know which witch is which. In today’s world, sadly, words have become weapons. A war of words is going on every day in our lives, and it is an actual battle, one that we must win. The old nursery rhyme adage \"Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you” is as archaic as the typewriter it was written on. The fact is words have power and they can harm you. They may not break your bones, but they will break your heart and spirit – if you let them. As you probably already know, even “good words” when miscommunicated can sometimes cause misunderstandings.
I have tried in Which Witch is Which? to use every kind of words I could think of -- rhyming words, funny words, long words, tongue twisters, puns, play on words, made-up words, descriptive words, and even a twist of Shakespeare, Elvis and Dr. Suess’s words of whimsical persuasion that words do matter (see if you can tell “which is which”). Likewise, there are many Bible verses that are applicable and come readily to mind here as the one I learned as a child: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” And another version of the Golden Rule: “Treating other people with the concern and kindness you would…

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AWelcomeNotefromYourStoryteller


Hieveryone!I\'mLinda,youroctogenarian(thatmeansI\'minmy80s)storyteller.Won\'tyoujoinmeonthepathtofindingout\"WhichWitchisWhich?\"Throughouthumanhistory,storytellershavebeenthekeepersofmagic,wisdom,andwonder.Longbeforebooksexisted,peoplewouldgatheraroundfiresorinvillagesquarestolistentotalespasseddownthroughgenerations.Thesestorytellersweren\'tjustentertainers--theywerehistorians,teachers,andguardiansoftheirculture\'smostimportantlessons.Inancienttimes,travelingstorytellerswouldjourneyfromtowntotown,carryingstorieslikeprecioustreasuresintheirmemories.Theywouldsharetalesofheroesandadventures,teachingchildrenaboutcourage,kindness,andfriendshipalongtheway.
Eventoday,storytellerscontinuethisancienttradition,whetherthey\'regrandparentssharingbedtimestories,teachersreadingtotheirclasses,orauthorswritingbooks.Eachstorytelleraddstheirownspecialtouchtothetalestheyshare,keepingtheancientartofstorytellingaliveandhelpingyoungmindsgrowthroughthepowerofimagination.
Readingstoriestoandwithyoungpeoplehasalwaysbroughtmesuchjoy.Overmyfortyyearsasaschoolteacher,Iwatchedcountlessfaceslightupasweexploredmagicalworldstogether.NotadaygoesbythatIdon\'tthinkaboutthosebrighteyesandeagerminds–theymadeteachingthemostrewardingcareerIcouldhaveimagined.
I’llneverforgetthecollectivegaspswhenwereachedsurprisingplottwists,orthethoughtfulquestionsthatshowedhowdeeplymystudentsengagedwitheachstory.Evennowinretirement,Istillfeelthatsparkofexcitementwhensharinganewtale.
Andspeakingofnewtales,letmetellyouaboutthisbookyou\'reholding.WhichWitchisWhich?isamysterywherenothingisquitewhatitseems.Throughoutthestory,thetrueidentitiesofourwitchycharactersremainhiddenuntiltheveryend.WhileI\'vescatteredplentyofcluesandhintsalongthewayforsharp-eyedreaders,you\'llneedtofolloweverytwistandturntouncoverthetruthofthiswitchyriddle.
Whatistheproblemwith“doppelwitches”(thesearewitchesthatlookalike)?I’lltellyouwhat:youneverknowwhichwitchiswhich.Intoday’sworld,sadly,wordshavebecomeweapons.Awarofwordsisgoingoneverydayinourlives,anditisanactualbattle,onethatwemustwin.Theoldnurseryrhymeadage\"Sticksandstonesmaybreakyourbones,butwordswillneverhurtyou”isasarchaicasthetypewriteritwaswrittenon.Thefactiswordshavepowerandtheycanharmyou.Theymaynotbreakyourbones,buttheywillbreakyourheartandspirit–ifyouletthem.Asyouprobablyalreadyknow,even“goodwords”whenmiscommunicatedcansometimescausemisunderstandings.
IhavetriedinWhichWitchisWhich?touseeverykindofwordsIcouldthinkof--rhymingwords,funnywords,longwords,tonguetwisters,puns,playonwords,made-upwords,descriptivewords,andevenatwistofShakespeare,ElvisandDr.Suess’swordsofwhimsicalpersuasionthatwordsdomatter(seeifyoucantell“whichiswhich”).Likewise,therearemanyBibleversesthatareapplicableandcomereadilytomindhereastheoneIlearnedasachild:“Dountoothersasyouwouldhavethemdountoyou.”AndanotherversionoftheGoldenRule:“Treatingotherpeoplewiththeconcernandkindnessyouwouldlikethemtoshowtowardyou”iseasytorecitebutsometimessohardtofollow.
Ittakesforgrantedthateveryonearoundyou,isjustlikeyouandweallknowthatisnotthereality.Wemaynotalwaysagreewiththechoicesthatotherpeoplemake,butwemustalwaysrespecttheirrighttodoso.So,allwecandoismakeasincereefforttostrivetolookforcompassionandempathyinourownlivesaswellasothers.Then,perhaps,watchtheSt.Judecommercialofthepreciouschildwiththepowderpinkglasses,withherarmsout,runningtoherDaddy...wherenowordsareneeded.
Sogather\'round,dearreaders!Let\'sembarkonthismagicaladventuretogether.Ican\'twaittosharethisstorywithyou,justasIsharedsomanyotherswithmybelovedstudentsovertheyears.


Acknowledgements


Firstofall,mysincereandheartfeltthankstoallmyfamilyandfriendswhohavesupportedmeinthisendeavor.Itwasn’teasy,butitwasenormouslyrewarding.Toallthosewho’veretiredandsaid,“I’mgoingtowritetheGreatAmericanNoveloratleastabook,”well,ittookmemanyyearsafterretiringfromteachingamazingstudentsbuthereitis.IlikeitandIhopeyoudotoo.
Thesatisfactionofaccomplishmentinfinishingmybookisfaroutweighed,though,bythethoughtthatthisstoryalreadybroughttomeinwritingitaswellasthehopethatitwillbringsomefreshjoytoreadersofallagesintheyearstocome.MyloveandthankstoallthechildrenI’veknown,whosewide-eyedwonderatstorytimeinspiredmetofinallyputpentopaper.Finally,toallfuturereaders:thankyouforjoiningmeonthismagicaljourney.Maythesepagessparkyourimaginationjustassomanybelovedbookshavesparkedminethroughouttheyears.
WhichWitchisWhich?

ChapterOne:WhichandWho:TheDoppelwitches


Oncemanywitchdecadesago,ormaybethisdecadeorjustlastmonth(whoreallyknows?),thereweretwowitcheswholookedexactlyalike.OnewasnamedWhich,andtheothernamedWho.WhenIsayexact,Imeanexactinthetotalmeaningoftheword,asineveryminordetail,fromthesamelocationoftheirwartstothesamenumberofhairsontheirheads,notthatIhavecountedthemofcourse.Eventheirsnaggledteethweresnaggledinthesamelocation.TheirappearancewasjustperfectforthemandIamtoldtheylikeditalot.
Althoughthesedoppelwitcheslookedidentical,theywerenottwins.Evenso,Ithinktheycouldhavebeenkinbecauseoftheirgreenskin.TheydelightedinplayingtheirtrickyguessinggamesofwhichwitchisWhichandwhichwitchisWho,anditlookedlikenoonehadaclue.ThatisuntilBonnieBluemovedintothelittlequainthousewithhergrandmajustbelowthecozycavewhereWhichandWholivedwiththeirGrandhagandfirstcovens.IneverreallyknewwhyBonnieBluecametolivewithhergrandmaandatfirst,sheseemedalittlesadbutitwasnotlongbeforesheseemedglad.
Lookingback,thiswasprobablybecauseBonniequicklymadenewfriendsandmettheawfullyhandsome,escapableirresistible,townbarnowl,whohadbeenalong-timebranchmanagerandknewthetalkofthetown.Thetownbarnowlwasquitetheremarkablefellow,withheart-shapedfaceaswhiteasmoonlightandfeathersthatlookedlikethey\'dbeendippedincaramelandcream.Hewasknownthroughoutthevillageforhisimpeccablemannersandhisendlesssupplyofinterestingstories,whichhe\'dcollectedoveryearsofperchinginhisfavoriteoaktreeandquietlyobservingeverythingthathappenedbelow.
Unlikemostbarnowlswhopreferredtokeeptothemselves,thisparticularowlenjoyednothingmorethanagoodchat,especiallyifitinvolvedsharingjuicytowngossiporhelpinganewfriendsolveamystery.Hissilentflightandkeenhearingmadehimtheperfectgathererofsecrets,thoughhewasveryparticularaboutwhichoneshesharedandwithwhom.HehadaspecialfondnessforwatchingWhichandWho’smagicalmix-upsfromhiscozybranch,andwouldoftentwisthisheadcompletelyaround(asowlsdo)tokeeptrackoftheirzanyidenticalantics.
Thisbarnowl’snamewas“Hootsirmesir”andhetookBonnieBlueunderhiswing,sotospeak,andthroughhiseyes,BonnieBluesaweverythingthathappenedinherlittletown.BonnieBluelistenedintentlyashetoldherallaboutWhichandWhoandhowallthelocalresidentsdidnothaveacluewhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.Hootsirmesirblinkedhisright,thirdeyelidthatactedlikeawindshieldwipergoingbackandforthwhichslylyletBonnieBlueknowthatheknewwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.ThiswinkmayhavebeenlostonBonnie,though,becauseshewasfascinatedbyHootsirmesir’sthirdeyelid,andshehopedhewoulddoitagain.Flappinghislargewings,theowlsimplygrinned,tookflightandhootedaway.


ChapterTwo:AWitchyHousewarming


Oneday,GrandmawastoldbyGrandhagattheirseniorciseclassthatWhichandWhowantedtowelcomeBonnieBluetotheneighborhoodbybringingherahousewarminggift.Ahousewarminggiftissuchathoughtfulwaytosaywearegladyouarehere.Hootsirmesirdecidedtojointhemjustincasehewasneededandjustbecausehewascurious.Therewasaknock,knockatthedoorandBonnieBluesaid,“Who’sthere?”
“It’sWho,whodidyouthinkitwas...Boo?”
Confused,BonnieBluereplied,“BooHoo?,”butWhoquicklyrespondedwithyetanothercornyjoke,“Boo-Hoo,don’tcrylittlebaby,”saidWho,“Gotcha–harhar!”
Thehousewarmingwitcheswouldn’tstopthere,though.Oneofthemasked,“Whatdoyoucalltwowitcheswhoshareanapartment?”andtheotherimmediatelyreplied,“BROOM-mates!”andtheybothlaugheduproariouslyandevenHootsirmesirgrinnedabeakygrin.Nottobeoutdone,thefirstwitchasked,“Whatdoyoucallawitchwhoteachesmagic?”andhertwinquicklyshotback,“ASPELL-ementaryteacher!”andagain,theybothlaugheduncontrollably,holdingtheirbelliesandtwistingabout.
Groaningabit,HootsirmesirrolledhiseyesatthecornyjokesandBonniesaid,“Comeonin,”andshetooktheirhatsandcoatsforitwasaverycoldday.Afterherguestswereseated,BonnieBlueintroducedherself,“MynameisBonnie”andwhensheturnedaroundfrompettinggrandma’sdog,Whichsaid“Blue?”“Howdidyouknow?,”saidBonnieBlue.“Well,”Whichreplied,“IcallthemlikeIseethem,andWhosaidAWK-word.”Bonnieknewshewasinforafuntimewiththesewitches.
Bonnieaskedhergueststositdownfortea.“Ihopeyouliketea,”saidBonnieBlue,and“Whosaid,Yes!IloveT,itisnexttoUandthencomesV!”“ThenWXYandZ,”saidWhich,andbothofthemlaughed.WhichandWhothoughttheyweresofunny.Theycontinued,“WhenIwasababymymummytoldeveryoneIlovedalphabettisoup!Shewasputtingwordsinmymouth,”cackledWhich.Whocouldnotstopcacklingandrolledonthefloorbreakdancingbecauseshewantedabreak.Hootsirmesirjustrolledhiseyesatthewitches’badjokesandsillyantics.
BonnieBluesmiledpolitelyasthewitchescackledaway,theirlaughterechoingthroughhercozylivingroomlikeagaggleofgeeseonasugarrush.Shepouredteacarefully,hopingthesoothingbeveragemightcalmthewhirlwindofsilliness.AsshehandedHootsirmesirhiscup,Whoblurtedout,\"Oh,speakingoftea,didyouhearaboutthewitchwhoopenedateashop?\"


Bonniehesitated.\"No,I—\"


\"Shecalledit\'SpilltheTea-kettle!\'Harhar!\"shoutedWho,nearlytippingoverthesugarbowl.Whichdoubledover,howlingwithlaughter,andaccidentallyknockedherhattothefloor.
Bonniepickeditupandhandeditback,muttering,“Ishould’veexpectedthiswhenIsawyourbroomparkedsidewaysinmyflowerbed.”
Whichperkedup,asthoughBonnie’scommenthadsparkedamemory.“Oh!Speakingofbrooms!Didyouhearaboutthewitchwhotriedtocleanherfloorswithherbroom?”
“No...”Bonnieansweredcautiously.
“Shegotsweptoffherfeet!”shriekedWhich,andthetwinscackledsoloudlythattheteacupsrattledintheirsaucers.
Hootsirmesir,whowassippinghisteawithimpeccableowldignity,groanedagainandmutteredunderhisbreath,“Dotheyeverstop?”
Apparentlynot,becauseWhochimedin,“Anddidyouknowwitchesnevergetsickonairplanes?”
Bonnie,nowcaughtinthewhirlwind,couldn’tresist.“Whynot?”
“Becausetheyalwayshavethebestflyingexperience!Ha!”
Hootsirmesirletoutalong,dramaticsighandfoldedhiswings.“Well,atleastsomeoneisenjoyingthemselves,”hesaid,glancingatBonnie,whowasvaliantlytryingnottogiggle.
Atlast,BonnieBluedecideditwastimetoreininthechaos.“Okay,okay!Enoughwiththejokes—who’sreadyforcookies?”WhichandWhofrozemid-cackle,theireyestwinklingwithdelight.“Cookies?”theyaskedinunison,asthoughshe’djustpromisedthemapotofgoldattheendofarainbow.“Yes,cookies,”Bonniesaid,holdingupaplate.“WITCHcookies?”askedWhohopefully.“No,”Bonniereplied,“justchocolatechip.”“Evenbetter!”theycried,divingfortheplate.Forabrief,gloriousmoment,theroomwasfilledwithnothingbutthesoundofmunchingandhappysighs.HootsirmesirlookedatBonnieandgaveherasmall,approvingnod.\"Wellplayed,\"hewhispered,beforegrabbingacookieforhimself.
Next,Whosaid,“Let’stakeabreak,DoyouhaveanymoreT?”BonnieBluewasnotgoingtoletthemgetthebestofhersoshesaid,“IcansaythealphabetBACKwardsin10seconds.”WhichandWhosaidimpossible,BonnieBluesaidifIdowillyoutellmewhichwitchisWhichandwhichwitchisWho.Theyputtheirwandstogetherandsaidokay,ifyoucansaythealphabetbackwardsin10secondswewilltellyouwhichwitchisWhichandwitchWhichisWho,Bonniethoughtaboutitforasecondandthensaid,“Soundslikeaplan”Finally,shethoughtbuttriedtohidehowthrilledshewas.Hootsirmesirusedhisfourrighttoestotimeher.Hesaid,Ready,SetToe!Imeango!BonniequicklyturnedaroundBACKwardsandsaid:ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ...
Hootsirmesirwhowaskeepingtimewithhisrightfourtoessaid,“Youdiditin8seconds!”BonnieBluesaid,“Oh,thatisgreat,nowtellmewhichwitchisWhichandwhichwitchisWho.”WhichandWhowerefumingsomuchthattheyhadbeentrickedthatthesmokedetectorwentoff.BonnieBlueholleredoverthebeepingandturnedaroundbackwardandsaid,“Areyougoingtotellmeorgobackonyourword?”
WhichandWhoinireputtheirwandstogetherandthensaidassuredly,“WesaidthatifyoucouldsaythealphabetBACKwardsin10secondsthatwewouldtellyouwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.”Bonniereplied,“IknowandthatiswhatIdid!JustaskHootsirmesir.”Perkingup,Hootsirmesirresponded,“Remember,BonnieBluediditin8secondsnot10!”BonnieBluejumpedupanddownshakingthewholehouse,butatleastitstoppedthesmokedetectorfrombeeping.
BonnieBluesaidyouaretrickstersandWhichandWhosaidyouhavetobeonetoknowone.“YouknewwhatImeant,Hootsirmesir,”saidBonnieBlue.Hootsirmesirwhonevertooksidesjustremindedherthatyoumustalwayssaywhatyoumeanandmeanwhatyousay.JustaskHortonwhowasstandingnearby,helearnedyoumustsaywhatyoumeanandmeanwhatyousay:“100%”saidHorton.“Yougivemeaheadache100%,”saidBonnieBlue,
Changingthesubject100%Hootsirmesirsaid,“WhataboutthehousewarminggiftyoubroughtBonnieBluetowelcomehertotheneighborhood?”Whichgotthegiftoutofthebroomclosetwherehehadparkedtheirverylongbroom.Whowassoproudofherselfsaid,\"Ipickedoutyourgift,\"shesaidwithexcitement,\"Grandhagwasatliondancingsosheaskedmetogetanicehousewarminggiftforyou.\"BonnieBlue,againwithreluctantacceptancesaid,\"Thanks\"andstartedunwrappingthegift.BonnieBluelookedpuzzledasshelookedatthegiftandsaid,\"Yougotmea...yougotmea...heater?\"Grandmawhowasstandingnearbybrokethespell,sortaspeakandsaid,\"Whatanicesurprise!\"
\"Yes,itisasurprise,\"saidBonnieBlueassheputherheadinthewrappingpaperindisbelief.
Whosaid,\"Yes,IwasjustabouttogiveuptryingtofindahousewarminggiftwhenIsawthisonthetopshelfatGhostcoanditsaid,\'Itwillwarmyourhouseupto2500squarefeet.\'Butthesalesclerkaddressedmyconcernaboutthefeet,shakinghisheadhesaid\'Youreallydonothavetohavesquarefeet,anyshapewoulddo!\'\"
BonnieBluemoanedandputmorewrappingpaperaroundherheadandIbelievethemuffledsoundthatIheardwas\"GETTHEIRRECEIPTSOICANTAKEITBACK!\"
\"It\'sgettinglatesomaybeweshouldwrapthisup,\"saidHootsirmesir.Grandmaagreedwithoutreluctanceandgotthemtheirwrapsandhatsandofcoursetheirbroomoutofthebroomcloset.Grandmaremindedthem\"towrapupbecauseitwasreallycoldoutside,\"whilemoanswereheardcomingfromthedirectionofthewrappingpaper.WhichandWhogotontheirbroombutcouldnotresistonelastdigthattheyknewBonnieBluewouldnotdig.WhichandWhosaidinunison:\"WeweregoingtotellyouwhichwitchiswhichandwhichwitchisWho,butlookslikeyouareallwrappedup!\"
Allofsuddenthewrappingpaperstarteddiggingacrossthecarpetlikeacentipedewith2500squarefeetand25,000toes.Allthatwasheardwasamuffledsoundsaying\"Iamgoingto...\"butweneverknewwhatbecausethosetwodoppelwitchesflewoutthatdoorlikeabatoutofaboilingcauldron.Hootsirmesirofferedtohelpputthecentipede...ImeanBonnieBluetobedbutGrandmainsistedthatshewouldbefinewhenshewasunwrappedandwrappedinherfavoriteblanketanddrankacupofwarmtea–andshewas.
ChapterThree:SongTime!
Thenextday,BonnieBluewasstillangryatthewitchesandsaidsomemuffledwordsthatwereverymeanandnotworthyofbeingrepeatedhere,althoughBonnieBluekeptrepeatingthem--wordsthatseemmeaningless...\"Idomeanit,ImeanwhatIsay!IdomeanitImeanwhatIsay.Idomeanit100percent...\"Grandmaconsoledhergranddaughter,whichshelovedverymuchbysaying,\"Everythingisgoingtobeokay,fortomorrowisanotherday.\"SothenextdayBonnieBluewokeuptoabeautifulsunshinydaywhereshecouldhearGrandmasingingherfavoritesong\"YouaremySunshine.\"ThisremindedBonnieBlueofhowhersweetgrandmawouldrockherandsingthatsongtoher:


“Grandma’sTeaTime”


(Tothetuneof“Twinkle,Twinkle,LittleStar”)


Grandmapourshermagictea,
Warmandcozy,justforme.
Inherrocker,softandslow,
Singingsongsfromlongago.
TeawithGrandma,whatatreat,
Everysipiscalmandsweet!
Bonniecherishedthosememoriesandwantedtomakehergrandmahappysoshedecidedtoletbygonesbebygones.Itisnotoftenthatyoucanplanthefuturebythepast,butinthiscaseshedid.Butshewasn’tcompletelyabygonegirlbecauseshestillhadimagesofthreeWsWhich,Who,andWrappingpaper.ThismadeherwanttocontinueherquesttofindoutmoreinformationfromHootsirmesir,so,BonnieBluebeggedthewiseowltotellherthesecretofhowtotellwhichwitchwasWhichandwitchwhichwasWho.
“Don’twasteyourtime,”saidHootsirmesir,“UseyourBonnieBluebrainandbetirelesslyenergeticwhenlookingbeyondthesurfaceandshadows,inobservingthesebroommates,andyouwillseewhichwitchisWhichandwhichwitchisWho.Inthemeantime,here’safunsongthatwillhelpyouremember:

“TheOwl’sWisdomSong”


(Tothetuneof“OldMacDonaldHadaFarm”)


Hootsirmesirhadadvice,
Wiseandsoundandtrue.
“Lookbeyondtheshadowscast,

That’showyou’llknowWho’sWho!”


Withaclue-cluehere,
Andaclue-cluethere,
Hereaclue,thereaclue,
Everywhereaclue-clue,
Hootsirmesirhadadvice,
Wiseandsoundandtrue!
ShefollowedHootsirmesir’sadviceandlookedbeyondthesurfaceandtheobviousliterally.BonnieBluehidintheshadowsofthebushesinhopesoffindinganycluetowhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.Shewatchedthemcloselyastheyflewdownontheirbroomandtooklovesymbolsandusedthemtowriteacrossthesky:“Double,doubletoilandtrouble:FireBurn,andcauldronbubbl...butbeforetheycouldwritethelaste,GrandhagsentthemasignalbysmokeEakmailwhichread:“Double,doubleyouareintrouble,gethomeonthedouble.”
ButWhichandWhocontinuedtheirmischiefdayafterdayasBonnieBluewatchedthemflydowntogetherontheirbroomandgethatsthatwereblowinginthebreezeandwatchedthemturnumbrellasupsidedownsolocalswouldgetwetfromtheshowers.WhichandWhowouldsneakupbehindBonnieBluewhereshewashidingandwiggletheirnosesandpuddleswouldsplashalloverher.Speakingofnosesandrosesandpayback.Oneafternoontheyevensangthissillysong,teasingBonnieevenmore:


“WitchesonTheirBrooms”


(Tothetuneof“Row,Row,RowYourBoat”)


“Fly,fly,flyyourbroom,
Throughthestarrynight,
WhoandWhichwithtrickstostitch,
Causemischiefleftandright!
Zoom,zoom,zoomtheygo,
Overfieldsandstreams,
Cacklingloud,they’remischiefproud,

Andfillyourheadwithdreams!”


Bonnieactuallylikedtheirsillysongandwasabouttoaskthewitchestosingitagaintoshecouldrememberthewords,buttheyjustlaughed,shooktheirheadsandsaid,“Maybenexttime,BonnieBlue!”andflewawayontheirbrooms.

ChapterFour:ASpecialDayforBonnieandtheWitches


OnedayBonnieBluegaveWhichandWhosomebeautifulflowersandputaroseinthemiddleofthem.\"WhichandWho,whytherose?\"AndBonnieBluesaid,\"Smellitandyouwillsee.\"WhichandWhobentdowntosmelltherose,andBonnieBluesqueezedthetrickrose.Bluedyewentallovertheirfaces,makingthemblue.\"Let\'sgetoutofhere,Who,\"Whichsaid.\"Comeon!\"Whowasnowblue.\"Eak,\"saidWhich.\"DidIjustgiveBonnieBlueacluetowhichwitchisWhichandwhichwitchisWho?OrisBonnieBlueclueless?\"
EventhoughBonnieBlue,Ithink,didnotknowforcertainwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho,shesaidshedidbecauseshewassotiredoftheirshenanigansandwitchy,switchy,trickytricks.Sheputonanairofsecrecyandpretendedtobeintheknow,andthisinfuriatedWhoandWhichsomuchthattheypattedtheirhead,rubbedtheirnose,stompedtheground,untilsmokestartedcomingoutoftheirears.
BonnieBluelaughedandsaid,\"Lookatyoutwo,youareSupercalifragilistic-expialidocious!\"\"What?HowdareyoucallusSupercalifragilisticexpialidocious!\"saidWhichandWho.Theywereoutraged!\"IwouldratherbecalledthatthanhaveitonFriday\'sspellingtest,wouldn\'tyou?\"BonnieBluewaspuzzledbytheirreactionandsaid,\"Thatmeansyouarewonderful,\"sheexplained.\"Wonderful?Whowantstobeawonderfulwitch?\"saidWhich,sittingonthebroomstick.\"Didyousay\'Whowantstobeawonderfulwitch\'?\"saidBonnieBlue.
\"No,Isaid,\'whowantstobeawonderfulwitch\'...notWho!\"
BonnieBlue,Which,andWhowereclearlyconfused,soWhocalledBonnieBlue\"FLOCCINAUCINIHILLIPILIFICATION!\"\"Ibegyourpardon,\"saidBonnieBlueasshegotbluerandbluer.\"Didyoujustcallmethe—\"
Whichinterruptedquicklyandsaid,\"Whocalledyounothing.\"\"Iheardhim!Hedidcallmesomething!\"\"Hecalledyounothing,\"Whichrepeated.\"Isn\'tthatright?\"heaskedWebster,theduck,whowasnearby.\"Well,\"saidWebster,\"Itdoesmeannothing,butthatistheabridged—\"butbeforehecouldfinish,Whichsaid,\"Well,getoffthebridgeandtellBonnieBluewhatitmeans.\"\"IknowwhatSupercalifragilisticmeans.Itisatrocious,\"saidBonnieBlue,asshehasalwaysbeenveryprecocious.
\"Whocalledmenothing?\"\"Well,\"saidWhich,whoalwaystriedtoapplywitchicalthinking,\"Whocalledyounothing.Doyouwanttobecalledsomething?\"\"No,\"saidBonnieBlue,\"butwhowantstobeanothingprincess?\"\"Whydoyoukeepsayingthat?\"saidWho.\"Idonotwanttobeanothingprincess.\"\"Ididnotsaythat,\"saidBonnieBlue.\"Isaid\'whowantstobeanothingprincess?\'Notyou,Who!\"\"Notagain,\"saidWhich,whohadaterribleheadacheandwasforsomereasoncravinganothingburger.
\"Didyousayanothingburger?\"saidWho.\"Youmeananothingburgerwithtwoall-feetpatties,specialsauce,lettuce,cheese,picklesonasesameseedbun?\"\"That\'stheone,\"saidWhich.\"Icansmellthemonthegrillrightnow.\"
SoWhichtoldWhotohoponthebroom,andWhichputitinoversweepandup,upandawaytheywentwhileBonniewatchedthemcarefully.ThenBonnieBluegotonherbikeandshedidride—whatabeautifuldaytobeoutside.
Fromthenon,itwasalltrickandnotreat.WhichandWhotriedeverytrickinthewitches\'manualonBonnieBluetotrytotrickherintotellingthemhowshecouldtellwhichwitchisWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.Theyfinallygaveupbecausetheykeptfallingshortanddecidedtogoabouttheirwitchybusiness,whichincludedspreadingalltheleavesthatwereinthebigpilesontheirwaytotheirhomecave.Livinginacavemadethemtroglodytes,buttheyalsobecamespelunkerswhentheyexploredtheircave.Thewitcheshadalotoffunwiththesenamesandevensangasongaboutthem:


“TheTroglodyteSpelunkerSong”


(Tothetuneof“TheWheelsontheBus”)


We’rethetrog-lo-dytes,
Weliveinacave,
Inacave,inacave!
We’rethetrog-lo-dytes,
Weliveinacave,
Andwe’respelunkerstoo!
Wewigglethroughthecracks,
Andcrawlthroughtheholes,
Throughtheholes,throughtheholes!
Wewigglethroughthecracks,
Andcrawlthroughtheholes,
Ourcaveisfulloffun!
Weechowithashout,

\"Whoo-hooandhar-har!\"


Har-har,har-har!
Weechowithashout,

\"Whoo-hooandhar-har!\"


It’sourspookycavetune!
Weflyhomeonourbrooms,
Andlaughalltheway,
Alltheway,alltheway!
Weflyhomeonourbrooms,
Andlaughalltheway,
Whatawitchy,wackyday!
Lookingback,itwasprobablytheirsillysongsandjokes,becauseabsencemadeherheartgrowfonder—ormaybeitwasoutofsight,outofmind—becauseBonnieBluedecidedshewouldtellthemhowsheknew.SowhatbetterwaythantoinvitethemtoherPrincessbirthdayparty,whichhappenedtobeonOctober31st,whichhappenstobethemostimportantdayoftheyearforWhichandWho.

Theinvitationreadsomethinglikethis:


WHAT:BonnieBlue\'s13thPrincessBirthdayParty


WHEN:OCTOBER31,INTHEYEAROFWHOKNOWSWHO


WHY:WHICHISWHICHREVEAL


COMEASYOUARE.Orwearyourcostumesifyouwanttodisguisewhoyouare.

LOTSOFGAMESANDFOODANDFUN


BETHEREORBESQUARE!
RSVP
Whentheygottheinvitation,theyatfirstsaid,“Noway.”Afterall,thiswasthenighttheyhadlookedforwardtoforsolong;theyjustcouldnotbearthethoughtofnotscaringthepantsoffthescarecrowsthisyear.Butthemoretheythoughtaboutit,themoretheyjustcouldnotmisstheironechanceoffindingouthowsheknewwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.Besides,it\'snoteverydaythatyouhaveRSVP...Rat-tailSoupandVenomPunch!!!!!
Sotheydecidedtogototheparty.Theygottheirwitches\'appareltogivetotheirGrandhagsoshecouldmakethemevenuglierandscarier.\"YoutwodoppelwitchesarereallygoingalloutforHalloweenthisyear,\"Grandhagsaid.
WhichlookedatWhoandWholookedatWhich,andWhichwhisperedinoneear,andWhowhisperedintheothergrandhag\'sear,\"Wearegoingtoaprincessbirthdayparty.\"
\"PrincessBIRTHDAYPARTY?\"Grandhagsaidinsurprise.\"Please,Grandhag,notsoloud—nooneknows.\"Grandhagsaid,\"YoumustbegoingtoBonnieBlue\'s13thparty.IsawhergrandmatheotherdayatWal-Wart,andshewaswearingamask,becausethisiswartseason.\"
\"Didyouwearone?\"saidGrandhag.\"Ofcoursenot,\"shereplied.\"YoucanneverbetoowartyaroundHalloween.\"\"Anyway,GrandmatoldmeallaboutBonnieBlue\'sparty.Iamsogladyouaregoing...youmeanyouarenotmadatus?\"\"Ofcoursenot!Iamsoglad—itisachancetomakenewfriends.Ihaveanidea:insteadofwearingyourlastdecadewitches\'dresses,whydon\'tItakeyoudoppelwitchestoCinderella\'sBibbidiBobbidiBootiqueandletyoupickoutsomethingtheretoweartotheparty?\"
Noteverbeinginthere,theysaid,\"Ok,Iguess.\"Afterall,theyknewlotsoftrickstheycoulddowithcinders.Justthinkofthemagicaloutfitsyoucouldfindthere!
Theirimaginingofallthepossibilitiesdisappearedwhenthedooropenedandtheysawgirlsdressedinsequinsandcrownsandbig,shiny,flowingdressesandcapes.Theywouldhavelikedtheprettycapesiftheyhadnotbeenpink,acheerfulcolorthatdidn’tfitwiththeirideaabouttheseason.Infact,theybothwantedtohopontheirbroomstickandflyoutofthere.ButGrandhagsaid,“BonnieBluewantstobeyourfriend,andthatiswhatfriendsdoforoneanother.”Sotheywillingly-reluctantlyagreedbecausetheywerethinkinginthebackoftheirminds,theycouldaddtheirownmagicalwitchytouch.Andmaybe,justmaybe,BonnieBluewouldkeepherpromisetorevealwhichwitchisWhichandwhichwitchisWho,andthatwouldmakeitallworthwhile.
GrandhagsandGrandmasthinkalike—ordotheyplotalike?—becauseatthesametime,BonnieBlueandherfriendswereinTheWeirdSistersBoo-tiqueonthecornerofShakespeareandMacBeth\'sBoulevard,tryingonuglywitch\'sdressesbecausehergrandmathoughtBonnieBlueandherfriendsshoulddresslikeWhichandWhotomakethemfeelwelcomeattheparty.BonnieBlueagreedaslongasshecoulddesignitwithalittleprincessflair.
ChapterFive:PartyTime!
WhenHalloweenandBonnieBlue\'spartycame,allthewitchcovensweregettingreadyfortheirmagnificentscarynight.Peggywitchsaid,\"IcanhardlywaituntilIcantaponthewindowsandmakehorriblefacesatthelittletrick-or-treaters.\"
\"Thatwillbeeasyforyoutodo,\"witchFrancessaid.\"Youlookhorriblewithoutmakingfaces.\"Shecontinued,\"YouaresouglyyougiveFreddyKruegernightmares.\"ThenMarthawitchputhertwoscentsinandsaid,\"YouaresouglyyoucouldscareallthefleasoffBonnieBlue\'sgrandma\'sdog.\"\"Thankyou,\"saidPeggy.\"Yousweetcovenssaythenicestthings.\"
Asthewitchescackledandchattered,Francesadded,\"I’mworkingonmycostumefortonight.Iwanttogoassomethingreallyscary.\"Peggysmirkedandsaid,\"Oh,soyou’rejustgoingasyourself?\"Francesshotback,\"Ohplease,Peggy.You’resoscarythemirrorscreamswhenyoulookintoit!\"
Thewitchesallburstoutlaughing,andevenHootsirmesir,perchedinthecorner,gaveasmallhootofamusement.Marthachimedin,“Speakingofscarythings,doyouknowwhymodernwitchesnevergetlost?”Theroomfellquietasthewitcheswaited.“BecausetheyhaveGPSontheirbroomsticks!”Peggygroaned,“Martha,thatjokeisolderthanGrandhag’scauldron!”“Maybeso,”Marthasaidwithagrin,“butitstillstirsuplaughs!”
ConcernedCeCewitchabruptlyinterruptedtheconversationandsaid,\"IthoughtBonnieBlue\'sdogwasafriendofyoursandwashelpingyouwithyourmagicactofpullingrabbitsoutofyourhat.\"Peggysaid,\"Hewas,butthatHoundDogcan\'tevencatchonerabbit,andItoldhimhe\'snofriendofmine.\"\"PeggyWitch,\"said,\"Howdidhetakeit?\"\"Crying.Crying!Cryingallthetime.\"
Anotherwitch,ConcernedCeCe,lookedconcerned–naturally--andremindedthemthatitwasnotGrandma\'sdog—itwasGrandma\'scousin\'sdogonceremovedandBonnieBlue\'scousintwiceremoved.Peggywitchscratchedherhead(andasuspiciousbumpunderherhat).\"Onceremoved?Twiceremoved?Whatdoesthatevenmean?Didthedoggetkickedoutofthefamilytwice?\"
\"No,no!\"ConcernedCeCesaid,exasperated.\"Itmeansthedogisrelated,butthroughgenerations!Honestly,sometimesIthinkI’mtheonlyonearoundherewho’sreadtheWitch’sGuidetoGenealogy!\"
Franceswitchsquintedsuspiciouslyatthedog,whowasnowwaggingitstailandsniffingaroundforcrumbs.\"So...doesthatmeanthedogismagicaltoo?\"
\"Ofcourse!\"CeCesaid,throwingherarmswide.\"Everyfamilymemberinawitch\'slineagehasatouchofmagic,evenifit’sjustenoughtomakebiscuitsvanishoffthecounter.Andthisdog?He\'sgotthepowerofpuppy-dogeyes.Onelookandyou’llgivehimallyourtreats!\"
Thewitchesallleaneddowntoinspectthedog,who,realizinghehadanaudience,gavethemthebiggest,mostpitifuleyeseverseeninthehistoryofdogs.Immediately,Franceshandedoverhercandystash,Peggygaveupherprizedpumpkincookies,andevenConcernedCeCereluctantlypartedwithheremergencylicoricewand.
Thedoghappilytrottedoff,leavingthewitchesinastateofbewilderedgenerosity.\"Well,\"saidCeCe,brushingoffcrumbs,\"thatsettlesit.Thisdogmaybetwiceremoved,buthe’stwiceascleverasanyofus!\"
TheyallagreedthatHoundDogwasfineaslongasheworehisbluesuedeshoesbeforetheyarewerealsotwiceremoved....thentheyallcackled!GrandhagwasabouttocallthemontheflyingcarpetforbeinghaggishtoCeCe,butIhavetoadmitthatCeCeisoftenprudish—sheevenrefusestoscarethepantsoffthescarecrowsandshe—\"Look,\"saidFrances,\"Doyouseeit?\"
ThelightofthesilverymoonshoneonthedarknesswhereWhichandWhowerehiding,wearingtheirnewfashionableprincessdressesandcrownswithawitchytouch.Theirhairwasallincurlsandtheirwartslookedlikebeautymarks.Whenthewitchessawthem,theycouldnotbelievetheireyesandHazelwitchalmostchokedonherfrogtonguesthatshewaseating.
Beforeyoufeelsorryforthefrogs,youneedtoknowthatthesefrogtonguesaremadewithingredientsthatarenaturalandgut-tenfree.Afterall,Hazelisawitchetarian,andshewillnotgiveyouanyofherrecipesbecausesheiswritingacookbookfeaturingenchantingrecipesthatcanbepreparedinovens(butnotrecommended)orjustbywigglingyournose.
\"Whereareyougoingdressedlikethat?\"thecovenwitchesasked.
Whosaidsoftly,\"Wearegoingtoaprincessbirthdayparty.\"
\"PrincessBIRTHDAYPARTYonHalloween?\"Thewitches\'covenhowledsoloudlythattheybegantocircleWhichandWho,singing\"RingAroundtheRosies,PocketfulofToesies.\"Grandhagwasclosebymakingabigcauldronofslumgullionstew.Shecouldseewhatwashappening,soshecametotheirrescuebysaying,\"TheyaregoingtocelebrateHalloweenanewwaythisyear,\"andbeforetheycouldrespondwithsomecacklequack,shesaid,\"NowcomegetyouasandwitchandabigbowlofslumgullionstewsoyouwillhaveplentyenergyforwitchcrafttonightandapologizetoWhichandWho.\"


\"Dowehaveto?\"


\"Yes,youdo.\"


\"Ok,youlook...huhhuh...BOOtiful.\"


\"Thankyou,\"saidWhichandWho,\"andsodoyou!\"
BonnieBluewaswaitingtirelessly-energetically,astheowlhadtoldhertodo,forthebroommatestoflydownontheirbroomstickbecauseshehadtomakesurehertheorywasrightaboutwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho,evenifittookherallnight.So,shewatchedthemcarefullyastheyarrivedattheparty,andwhentheyswishedin,onewitchjumpedoff,andtheotherwitchparked—or,shouldIsay,puttheirbroominthebroomcloset.
Now,finally,BonnieBlueknewassureasthewindblewwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.ButnoonehadacluewhyWhichandWhoweredressedlikeBonnieBlueandBonnieBluewasdressedlikeWhichandWho.ButWhichandWhodidnotwanttocauseastirbecausethiswastheironlychancetofindouthowBonnieBlueknewwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.
BonnieBluehadeverythingreadyforthem:alacytablecloth,abeautifulbirthdaycake,chocolateicecream,evenbirthdayhats.Itwastimeforthepartytobegin,soBonnieBluecutthecakeandgaveWhichandWhoapiece.Theytastedthecakeandnearlychoked.Whentheytastedtheicecream,theydecideditwasevenworse.Thewitchesthought,whocouldpossiblyeatsomethingsosweet?Whodidnotwanttobewitchyorimpolite,sosheatethecandles,andtheywerelit.Whichtriedtoeathercakebutateonebiteandthenaskedforatoadiebag.Shethoughtitwouldbemuchbetterwhenitbecameoldandmoldy.
Whichthoughthowniceitwouldbetobeinherownlittleholloweatingsomegoodbarbecuecharcoalchips.\"Welllookwhoishere,\"saidHooty—thatiswhatFlossiecallsHootsirmesir.\"Hey,Flossie,whyyouHeifer,whendidyougetback?Didn\'texpectyoubacksosoon.Iheardyouwenttolookforgreenerpastures.Didyoufindany?\"\"Yes,wefoundlotsofgreenpastures.\"\"That\'sgood,\"saidHooty.\"No,that\'sbad,\"saidFlossie.\"Weateandateuntilwegotthehic-burps—nottobeconfusedwithhiccups.\"\"That\'sgood,\"hesaid.\"No,that\'sbad,\"shesaid.\"Wehic-burpedsomuchwepollutedtheair.\"\"That\'sbad,\"hesaid.
\"No,that\'sgood,\"shesaid.\"Weheldourbreathandcountedto10,rubbedourstomachandpattedourheadandwefinallygotridofthehic-burps.\"\"That\'sgood,\"hesaid.
\"No,that\'sbad,\"shesaid,\"becauseifweatethegreenergrassagainthenwewouldgetthehic-burpsagain.\"\"That\'sbad,\"hesaid.\"No,that\'sgood,\"shesaid,\"becausewe\'restarvingtodeathandcouldnoteatthegrassthatwethoughtwasgreener.\"\"That\'sbad,\"hesaid.
\"No,that\'sgood,\"shesaid,\"becausewewenttothebeach.\"\"That\'sgood,\"hesaid.
\"No,that\'sbad,\"shesaid.\"Weateandateandateseaweed.\"\"That\'sbad.\"
\"No,that\'sgoodbecauseitcuredthehic-burps.\"
\"That\'sgood.\"\"No,that\'sbadbecausetheclimatechangedandwewerefreezing.\"\"That\'sbad,\"hesaid.\"No,that\'sgood,\"shesaid,\"becausewedecideditwastimeforthecowstocomehomeandhereIam.\"\"That\'sBAD,\"saidWho,whowaslisteningnearby.\"No,that\'sgood,\"saidFlossie.\"YouknowyouaregladI\'mback,wecanplay.\"Whosays,\"Whosaysturnaround.\"
Flossieturnedaround.\"Whosaystouchyourtailtoyournose.\"Itwasastrugglebutshedidit.\"Whosaysstickyourtongueout,\"andshedidit.\"Nowsaythealphabetbackwards.\"
Flossiesaid,\"ZYXW—\"\"No,youlose,Ididnotsay\'Whosays.\'Andbesidesthatisnothowyousaythealphabetbackwards.Doyouwantmetoshowyouhowtodoitin8seconds?\"
\"No,weneedtogetbacktotheparty,butbeforewedotellmewhatisnewaroundhere.\"
\"Well,\"saidWho,andshebegantotellFlossiehowBonnieBluehaddiscoveredwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.Flossiesaidindisbelief,\"Getoutofhere!\"SoWholeft,andFlossiesaid,\"Nothingnewaroundhere!\"
Finally,itwastimetoplaygames.Theytriedplayingpinthetailonthedonkey.BonnieBluegotboththewitchesturnedaroundanddizzyandhandedthemthetails,butittooksolongtoexplainthegamethatthebats,bythistime,hadflownbyandtakentheirblindfoldsoff.SoWhichandWho,whoaresomeofthebestwandwaversaround,decidedtohelp.Theywavedtheirwandsandgottheirowndoppeldonkeyswithseparatetails,butwhentheytriedtopinthetailonthem,theystartedloudbrayingandbiting,sotheytookthemtobobforappleswheretheywereverysuccessful.
MissPinkyPromiseaskedeveryonetojoininwishingBonnieBlueahappybirthday.Raisingherarmsuplikeanorchestradirector,PinkystartedsinginginpigLatin:
\"Appy-hayIrthday-bayo-tayou-yay,
Appy-hayIrthday-bayo-tayou-yay,
Appy-hayIrthday-bayear-dayBonnie,


Appy-hayIrthday-bayo-tayou-yay!\"


ChapterSix:ThePartyGetsSilly


Itwassuchafunpartywithsomanyinterestingguests.Youreallycouldnottellwhowaswhobecausetheinvitationsaidtheycouldwearcostumesorcomeasyouare.LookslikeFlossieiswagginghertonguetowhatlooksliketheLittleRedHen.Let\'sseewhattheyaresaying—youknowtheyhavebeenontheoutssinceFlossiewouldnothelpherbakebread.
Yourememberthatstory,don\'tyou?LittleRedHengotherfeathersruffled—itwasthetalkofthebarnyard.Itbecameafarmyardfeud.Shh,let\'slisten—thestakesarehigh.
\"Well,lookwhoishere,\"saidFlossie.\"It\'sRed,longtimenoKFC.\"\"Well,Ihaven\'tseenyousinceyouwouldnothelpmebakemybread.Ijustateitallmyself.\"\"Icanseethat,\"saidFlossie.
\"Whyyou,Heifer,\"saidRed.\"AtleastIdidnotjustmoveonandleavemyBFFtodoallthehardwork,\"saidtheLittleRedHen.\"Hardworkisgoodwork,\"saidWho.\"Hush,\"saidFlossie,\"Iamnotinmo-ood!\"
\"I\'veheardenough,\"saidFlossie.\"Youwentaroundlikeachickenwithyourheadcutoff,andwouldnotletusudderawordaboutwhywecouldnothelpyou.Wewenttoyourhenhouseandyouwerenotthere.\"

\"Theysaidyouflewthecoop.\"


\"Ileftyouanote,\"saidRed,\"tellingyouthatIwouldappreciateyourhelp.\"
\"Doyoureallythinkwecouldreadthatchickenscratch?\"saidFlossie.\"WeweredealingwithacrisiswithHennyPenny.\"
\"That\'sright,\"saidHennyPenny,whowasdressedlikeFoxyLoxywhowasdressedinsheep\'sclothing.
\"Iagree,\"saidBonnieBlue.\"Itlooksliketomeyouweretakingyourfriendsforgranted—youonlycalledonthemwhenyouneededhelp.\"
\"Yes,Iwaswrong,\"saidRed.
\"Andweweretoo,\"saidFlossie.\"Weshouldhaveexplainedtoyouwhywecouldnothelpyoubecausewethoughttheskywasfalling.Wewerefrightenedandjustdidn’tthinktheproblemthroughbeforewereacted.”
\"Well,itisamootpointnow.HolyCow,wehavesomuchmoreincommonthandividesus,\"saidFlossieHeifer.
\"Yes,thinkofallthegoodtimeswehadinthepastandallthetimesinthefuturewewillhavestruttingourstuff,\"cluckedRed!
\"Yes,let\'sdolunch,Iwilltakeyoutomyfavoriteplace,\"saidFlossie.
\"Mypleasure,\"saidRed.
\"Eatmorechicken,\"saidWhoquietly.
SoWhichandWhothoughtitwastimetogo.Theyknewiftheyleftnow,theywouldhaveplentyoftimetocelebrateHalloween.SoWhichandWhotoldBonnieBlueandallherfriends,\"Thankyou,thankyou,thankyouverymuch...untilwemeetagain,\"saidWho.
\"Itwassuchabittersweettime,\"saidWhich,andthenwitchWhoandwitchWhichpausedsoBonnieBluecouldrevealwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho....ButBonnieBluesaid,\"BeforeItellyouhowIknowwhichwitchisWhichandwhichwitchisWho,Iwanttothankyouforcoming,andIwantyoutoknowhowbothofyoulooklikecutiepiesinyourprincesscostumes,\"andeveryoneclappedandagreed.
WhichandWhojustcouldnotletthisgo.Theyhadtakenallthattheycouldtake.Afterall,theyhadgivenuptheirHalloweenanddressedlikepukeyprincesses,eatensugarycake,andplayedsillygamesandwerestarvingtodeathbecausetheynevergottheRSVP—RattailSoupandVenomPunch—theywerepromised.
Itwastheironlychoice,sothedoppelwitchessquawked,\"Didyousaycutiepies?\"
\"Yes,\"wasBonnieBlue\'sreply,\"justtwolittlechickadees.\"\"Howdareyoucallussweetcutiepies?Wearenotsweetcutiepies;wearenastyandproudofit!\"
Theyallstartedyellingandnamecallingandthewordswereflyingeverywhere:\"Yousillysausage!\"\"Meatball!\"\"Cupcake!\"\"Poopypotatohead!\"\"Pumpkin!\"\"Tattletales!\"\"Crybaby!\"\"Tootsie!\"\"Pizzaface!\"\"Boggerhead!\"\"Jellybean!\"\"Picklehead!\"\"Sugarbaby!\"\"Snotbuns!\"\"Tomatotwit!\"\"Kisses!\"\"Sweettarts!\"\"Milkyhay!\"Andeventhedonkeyswhohadappleseedsintheirteethcamebacktojoinin.Itwaslikeafoodfightinthereferencesectionofyourlocallibrary.
Thisfriendlyfightturnedprettyugly,though,anditlookedlikeitwasheadedtowardawarofwords.ThecovenwitchessawitandjoinedthemandsentasignaltoGrandhag,whowaswithGrandmaenjoyinghocuspocuspuddingandstrawberryshortcakeatLily\'sPad.SotheyaskedtheirwaiterJeremiahtotakethemtothebirthdaypartytoseewhatwasgoingon,andJeremiahjumpedatthechance.
Whentheygotthere,itwasabeautifulmess.ItwasaKerfuffle.SoGrandhagandGrandmapulledBonnieBlueoutofallthecommotionandaskedwhathappened.Andtheyallstartedtalkingatthesametimeandnoonecouldunderstandaword.
\"Well,itallboilsdowntothis,\"WhichandWhosaid.\"BonnieBlueuseduglywordstodescribeus.\"
\"Whatwords?\"saidGrandhag.


\"Shesaidwewereprettyandsweet.\"


Grandmalookedconfusedasshethoughtthatwouldbeacompliment.\"Itreallymadeusmad,\"explainedWho.\"Butwedecidedsinceitwasherbirthday,\"saidWhich,\"andwestilldidnotknowhowsheknewwhichwaswhich,wewouldjustbenicetoher,sowecalledherandherfriendspicklefaceandpoopypotatohead.\"
NowGrandhaglookedconfusedbecausethosewerefinewitchywords.Andifyouareconfused,don\'tfeellikeTheLoneRanger,Iamtoo!ThewayIexplainitisDifferentStrokesforDifferentFolks!OrDifferentWordsforDifferentNerds!NerdsareexpertsinsomanythingsandsometimestheirsmartwordsaresoabovemyheadthatIdon\'tunderstand.ButthegoodthingisNerdsdon\'tactlikeyouaredumb,theywillalwayshelpyouandyouinturncanhelpthemappreciateyourwords.
IhearWhocomingholleringsomethingaboutdoppelwords.Hurry,let\'sgetbacktostory.SoWhichsaid,\"Wethoughtshelikedwhatwecalledherbecausesheholleredasloudasshecould,\'OhIjustlovebeingcalledapicklefaceandpoopypotatohead!\'\"
GrandhagandGrandmastartedlaughingbecauseofalltheirony.
\"Whosaidironing?Likeironingsomethingthatiswrinkled?\"andshecuthereyestowardGrandhagandGrandma.\"Don\'teventhinkaboutit,\"saidGrandhag,\"oryouwillbeawrinkleintime...Out!\"
BonnieBlueandWhichsaid,\"Seemslikeeverythingwesayweputourfootinourmouths.\"\"That\'scalledtoe=ga,\"saidWho.BonnieBlueblurtedout,\"Iwishyouwouldshutyourbigmo—\"
GrandmainterruptedquicklyandwhisperedsomethinginBonnieBlue\'sear.BonnieBluegrudginglysaid,\"Yes,Ma\'am.\"
\"Wait,weneedtobecalmalaandnotangry,\"saidGrandhagandGrandma.\"Imeannodisrespect,\"saidWhichandBonnieBlue.\"Butitwasyou,Grandhag,thattoldustodresslikeBonnieBlueanditwasyou,Grandma,thattoldustodresslikeWhichandWhoanditwasyou,Grandhag,thattoldustowalkinBonnieBlue\'sshoesandIgotblisters,\"saidWho.
\"Butwehavetoadmititreallydidnotgothewaywehadplanned,\"saidGrandhag.
\"Youmeanschemed,\"saidWhich.\"Weadmitit—nooneisrightallthetime.\"\"Yes,\"saidWho,\"sometimesyouhavetogoleft.\"Grandhagsaid,\"Youneedtofaceeachotherandgoleft,left,leftandthengoright,right,right.Andwheredoyoubothendup?Rightinthemiddle.\"
\"Yes,weendedupinthemiddleofaKerfuffleanditwasallourfault,\"saidBonnieBlue,Which,andWho.\"Nooneneedstoplaytheblamegame.Butifyouwanttoblamesomeone,itwasallbecauseofmiscommunicationandmisunderstanding.\"
Whosaid,\"WhereisthatMissCommunication?Iwillsendthebirdofparadiserightuphernose,andwhereisthatMissUnderstanding?Iwillmakeanelephantsteponherbig,gianttoe.\"Horton,theelephant,heardWhoandsaid,\"Don\'tbringmeintothis.Ilikealltoes,bigandlittle,100percent.\"BonnieBluelaughedandsaid,\"Whoissoseriouslyfunnyandheneedstochillout.\"
Thatmadeeveryonelaughandforgetthistwaddle.Everyonewashavingfunandgiggling.\"Don\'tyoujustlovetogiggle,Who?ButwhereisWho?\"saidBonnieBlue.


\"Overthere,\"saidWhich,\"bytheheater.\"


\"Why?\"saidtheBirdofParadise.\"Becausehewastoldtochilloutandgottoochilledstandingwiththerefrigeratordooropen!\"\"Ohme,\"giggledHorton,\"that\'smyWho.WearebothfromWhovilleandhewasselectedMostLikelytoSucceed.\"
AndBonnieBluesaid\"WHAT?\"andtheneveryonestartedgigglingagainbecausesometimeswhenyoustartgigglingyoucannotstop.Hasthateverhappenedtoyou?Okay,stopgigglingandlet\'sgetonwiththestory.
Thenallofasudden,anapplethatseemedtocomefromnowhere—maybefromsomeone\'seye—landedrightinJeremiahthebullfrog\'ssnoringmouth.Itseemshehadgonetosleepcountingfliesbynight.PoorJeremiah,hewaslifeless.Hedidnotmove.Therewasadeafeningsilence—noteventhesoundofacricketcouldbeheard.Sadly,itwasannouncedJeremiahhadcroaked.\"Nowlookwhatwehavedone,\"saidBonnieBlue.
Whichsaid,\"Hewasafriendofmine,\"andWhosaid,\"Hewasjustaninnocentbysitter.\"
EveryonehungtheirheadexceptGrandmaandGrandhag,andtheysurroundedhimandjoinedhandsandgavehimtheFroglichmaneuver,namedafteritsinventor,Dr.BullFroglich.TheywerejustabouttogiveupwhenGrandmaandGrandhagyelled,\"Weneedsomelove,hope,andcharityifJeremiahisgoingtolivesuccessfully!Justthinkwhatitwouldbelikeifyouwereafrog!\"
ThentheyallgatheredaroundJeremiahtohelp.Well,itmusthaveworkedbecauseallofasudden,everyoneheardthestartofaribbitanditgrewandgrewuntilatrillwasheardaroundthepond.Whenabruptly,thebiggestredbobbinappleyoueversawpoppedoutofJeremiah\'sthroat.Jeremiahwasalive!Hewasupandcroaking,ribbiting,hopping,tothemusic:\"Joytotheworld,alltheboysandgirls,joytothewitchesinthewillowtrees...Joytoyouandme.\"
Everyonewassinginganddancingandhavingaterriblynicetimewithoutanywordsneeded.Soyouthought...untilyouhearwhathappensnext.

ChapterSeven:MoreClues


Itwasrumoredthroughoutthepartythattheremaybesomeonespecialthere.SoWhodecidedhewouldfindoutwhoitwas,butthiswasgoingtobeveryhard.(\"Iknowhardworkisgoodwork.\"\"Igotit,don\'tyou.\"\"Howmanytimesareyougoingtosaythat?\"\"Untilyoulisten!\")Itwasnotgoingtobeeasybecausetheycouldbedisguisedincostumesorcameastheyare!Butyouwon\'tbelievethis—hefoundaclue.ButWhoneededhelp,sowhobettertohelphimbutBonnieBlue?No—Flossie!
SoshewenttoFlossieandWhowhisperedinherearwhoshethoughtitwas.Flossiegaspedindisbelief,\"Getoutofhere!\"Whosaid\"Okay,\"butFlossielassoedWhowithhertailandsaid,\"Youaregoingtohelp,butwearegoingtodoitmyway.Wehavegottofindoutwhetherthisspecialguestiswearingacostumeornot.Ifthisguestisnotwearingacostumethenyouraiseyourrighthand,butifthisguestiswearingacostumeyouraiseyourlefthandandIwillcomeandripthecostumeoff.\"
\"What?\"saidWho.\"Youaregoingtoripthecostumeoff?\"\"Doyouhaveabeefwiththat?\"saidFlossie.\"Areyousureyouknowyourrightfromyourleft?\"\"Positive,\"saidWho.\"AndifIforget,Iwearmyskullringonmyrighthand.\"
\"Numbskull,\"thoughtFlossie,butsheheldhertongue.SoWhoapproachedtheguestandsaid,\"Ilikeyourcostume.\"\"It\'snotacostumebutthankyou,thankyouverymuch.\"
“Hewasverypolite,”thoughtWho.“Oh,IhavegottosignalFlossiethatitisnotacostume,”Whonoted.“Okay,”hethought,“itwasleftifnocostumeandrightifitiscostume—orisittheotherwayaround?”Hewassonervoushecouldnotevenrememberwhichwaswhich.Thenherememberedaboutthering,butwhenhelookedtherewasnoring.Whohadleftitinthecavehomewhendressingforthebirthdayparty.GrandhagdidnotthinkitlookedgoodwithaPrincessdress!
Flossiewasstandingwithherbackarched,herheadwasshakingwithprotrudingeyeballs,andWhodidnotknowwhattodososhejustthrewupbothhandsinsurrender.Whenshedidthat,FlossieexplodedoutoftherelikeabullinaChinashop.ButbeforeWhocouldstopher,shewaspushedtothefloorbyGrandma\'sdog—theonewiththebluesuedeshoes.Hewassohappytoseehismaster.
Buthismastersaid,\"Iamgladtoseeyoutoo,OldShep,butlook,youknockedthisniceheifertotheground.Whatshouldwedo?\"Whosaid,\"Iknow—getheroutofhere!\"OldShep\'smastercurledhislip,said\"Don\'tbecruel,\"andsmiled,thenhelpedFlossiegetup.Flossiewasinaweandjustabouteverybodyelseintheroomwastoo—evenGrandhagwasswooning.
OldShep\'smasterthankedGrandma,whowashiscousinonceremoved,forgivingOldShepsuchTLCwhilehewasontheroad.ThenOldShepandhismasterwavedfarewell,threwafewscarves,andleftthebuilding.
Ifyouwonderwhyeveryonewaswonderstruck,justaskyourmama,yourgrandma,yourgreat-grandma,andpossiblyyourgreat-great-grandma,andtheywilltellyouwhyyou\"Can\'tHelpFallinginLove.\"
ThenShakesbearsaid,\"Eventhoughpartingissuchsweetsorrow,itwastimetoleavetheparty.\"SoWhichandWhojumpedontheirlongbroomstick,andjustbeforetheyflewbythelightofthesilverymoon,BonnieBluesaid,\"Wait!Wait!Don\'tyouwanttoknowhowIknowwhichwitchisWhichandwhichwitchisWho?\"
\"No,itdoesn\'tmatteranymorewhichwitchisWhichandwhichwitchisWho.Allthatmattersisyoubeingyou,mebeingme,andwebeingwe,\"saidwitchWhich.\"Ilikethat,\"saidShakesbear.\"Tobeingornottobeing,isthequestion...Butalwaysbeinghumbleandkind,thatisalwaystheanswer.\"
ChapterEight:WeFindOutWhichWitchisWhich!
LookslikeShakesbearhadthelastword.Hootsirmesirsaid,\"Iseethesunrise,timeformetogetmybeautysleep,notthatIneedit.Pardonme,whatdidyousay?Oh,Ihearyounow!YouwanttoknowhowBonnieBlueknewwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.\"
\"Ifyouhavedoneyourhomework,sotospeak,youmayhaveadefinitepossibilityofthesecretthateveryoneisdyingtoknow.Well,hereistheanswerwehaveallbeenwaitingfor,\"sohesaidtotheDrumsticksectionofthebandofchickens,\"DrumstickRollplease!\"Hootsirmesirspreadhisleftwingbehindhisleftlowerearandsaid,\"DrumstickRoll,please.\"Thencommented,\"That\'sbetter.\"
Hootsirmesirspreadhisrightwingbehindhisupperrightearandsaid,\"DrumstickRollplease.\"\"That\'smuchbetter,\"commentedHootsirmesir.\"Yousee,owlsarenotlikedoppelwitches;theirearsarenotexactlyalike.\"
Thetownlocalsweregettingtiredofwaitingandsomeonehollered,\"Let\'sgetonwithit!\"Hootsirmesirsaid,\"Whoisouttherebeingrude?Imightnottellyouafterall.\"\"Isityou?\"
\"NosirnotIsir,\"asmalltownlocalyawned.\"I\'msorry,Iwasjustpullingyourleg,\"saidHootsirmesir.
\"Well,Ihopeitisnotmylegsyou\'repulling,\"saidMillipede.\"Wewouldbehereuntilthenextdecadeandourlegsaretired,\"saidtheBandofChickenswhoweremarchingtothebeatoftheirowndrumsticks.
\"Okay,thisishowBonnieBluekneweachwitchforridingontheirbroomstickswitch:witchWhowasALWAYSbehindwitchWhich.Thesebroommatesneverchanged;thatishowsheknewwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.AndnowyouknowhowBonnieBlueknewwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWhobecausewitchWhoalwayssatbehindwitchWhich.\"
Finally,thesearchwasover;somewerehappy,someweresad,andsomejustdidnotcare.\"Well,all\'swellthatendswell,\"saidShakesbear.\"Finally,itisallover.\"\"Maybe,butareyousureaboutthat?Becausethereisoverandthereisover,andIamnotsureitisover.Matteroffact,itwasfarfromover.There\'smore,wouldyouliketoheartherestofthestory?\"
\"YES!\"washeardloudandclear.
SoBonnieBlue,Which,andWhobecamefriends.IwouldnotcallthemBFF\'s,buttheywereyellowlightfriendsandsharedfuntimestogetherbutwerealwaysalittlerecklesslycautious.Forexample,liketheonetheysharedjustalittlewhileagowheretheygatheredtogethertogivethanks.Theyhadplentyoffood—GrandmabroughtallthesweetsandGrandhagbroughtallthesour,soinWho\'swords,itwas\"bittersweet.\"
Hazel\'snewSous-chef,Mr.RealTurkey,washappytoprovidethemaindish,theTofurky,forHootsirmesirtocarve.Ittastedprettygood,butMr.RealTurkeywasaxedanywaybecauseHazel\'soldsous-chefcameback.Hazeldidnotgettocomebecauseshewasatabooksigning;hercookbookwas#1ontheNewPorkTimesbest-sellinglist.Thecookbookswereflyingofftheshelvesandlandingincustomers\'arms.\"Itwaslikemagic,\"Hazelsaid,withanewrecipeinhereye.
Speakingofmagic,theGiftoftheMagitimeisfinallyhere,andfriendsandfamilyaregatheredaroundtocelebratethistimelesstime.BonnieBluewatchedasWhichandWhoflewinontheirbroom,andastheygotofftheirbroom,shegreetedthemindividuallybysaying,\"HelloWho,HelloWhich,\"lettingthemknowinaterriblynicewaythatshestillknewwhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.
Youknowwhatshewasdoing,don\'tyou?That\'sexactlyright—kindofrubbingitinthatsheknewwhat?WhichwitchwasWhichandwhichwitchwasWho.Yougotit!
Butnowitistimetocelebrate,anditwassuchagreatjubilee.Grandmacalledovertheguests,\"Comehere,WhichandWho,Ialmostforgottogiveyourgifts!\"\"Thankyou,\"saidWhich.
\"Thankyou,\"saidWho,astheybegantheirunwrapping.
BonnieBluecouldnotresistandsaidunderherbreath,\"Maybeitistwoheaters.\"GrandmagaveBonnieBluethatlook—youknowthatlook—andBonnieBluestraightenedheractupimmediately.Grandmasaid,\"ItalkedtoGrandhag,andshesaidshethoughtyoutwodoppelwitcheswerereadyforyourown...Brooms.\"
\"Brooms?DidGrandmasaybroomsasinmorethanonebroom?\"gaspedBonnieBlue.\"Thatmeansthosetwowillhavetheirownbroom!\"BonnieBluewasabsolutelyinshock;sheturnedlavender—oristhatcalledlividlyblue?Icouldnottellbecauseoftheblackcloudthathadsettledaboveherhead.BonnieBluelookedlikeshehadswallowedthepurplepeopleeater.
\"ThatmeansthatWhichandWhowillnothavetoshareabroomanymore,\"shekeptrepeating.
Grandmawasconfusedwhyhergranddaughter,whomshelovedsomuch,wassoupset.Butweknowwhyshewassoupset,don\'twe?Dopplewitchesnowhavedopplebrooms—thatisexactlyright.Grandmasawthatcentipedelookinhereyes,sosheimmediatelystartedgatheringupthewrappingpaper,justincase.
WhichandWhohuggedBonnieBlue,whowasstillstunned,andsaid,\"Doyouknowwhatthatmeans,BonnieBlue?ThatmeanswecanturnouroldbroomintoaBroombusandwecanallridetogether.Won\'tthatbefun,BonnieBlue?\"
Iwon\'ttellyouwhatshesaidbecauseitisnotappropriateforyoungearsoroldearseither!!ButthankfullyWhodidnothearBonnieBluebecausetheLindaA.Lucketttrumpeterswereplayingveryloudlyandthedrumstickswerewingingit.Theycouldbeheardfromoceantolake,fromcitytostate,proclaiming\"Wemustworktogetherforallofoursakes.\"
\"Whydon\'tyoucomelistentothemusiconthishistoricnight?\"saidWho.
\"Iwillgladlycomelistenifyouwilljustgetoutofmysight,\"saidBonnieBlueinfrustration.
Grandmaactedlikeshedidnothearherandsaid,\"Yes,thiswouldbetheperfectnighttoridetogether!\"SoGrandmagottheiroldbroomoutofthebroomclosetandtheyallpiledonthebroombusexceptBonnieBlue.
Whichsaid,\"BonnieBlue,youcomeandsitbetweenWhoandme.\"
\"Areyoukiddingme?\"saidBonnieBlue.
\"No,wearenotkidding,\"saidWho.\"Iamsavingyourplace—wewillbelikeasand-witch,\"laughedWho.
BonnieBluewouldnotbudge,soHootsirmesirwentovertotalktoher,butIthinkitwastoolate.Shewasinahorriblemood—sullen,irritable,upset,madattheworld,grumpy,andactinglikeaninnyhammer.Nodoubt,shehadabadcaseoftheMulligrubs.Shewascompletelyoutofit;BonnieBluewiththeblueshadalreadygonetoNever,Neverland.
Nowbeforeyougetallexcited,thatisnottheNeverlandwiththemoonwalkortheonewhereyounevergrowup.ThisisNever,Neverland—notNeverland.Theyhaveaconsti-toot-ionthatyouwillnotbelieve.Letmetellyoujustafewofthearticlesthattheyliveby:
·\"Never,everbrushyourteethorsayyourprayersbeforeyougotobed.Letyourteethrotandletyourprayersgounsaid.
·Nevereverdoyourhomework—getyourmamatodoit,shecandoitverywell.Thenyouhavetimetoplayvideogamesbeforeyougetexpelled.
·Never,evercomplimentanyoneandsaytheylooknice.Itmaygototheirhead;insteadtelleveryonetheirhairisfulloflice.
·Never,neverjustsayno,justsayyes,yes,yestothingsthatmakeyourbodyfeellikeatwistedpretzelandyournoselikeavolcanoeruptingsnotandmess.
·Never,evershouldyouliketoread,thatdoesnothelpyoutosucceed.YoubettertellWebstertogethisheadoutofthesand,becausehisbookofwordsof1806willsoonbebanned.…

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