Comparing Myself to My Boss Essay

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twenty-nine-year-old female from Ghana in West Africa. I moved to the United States fourteen years ago. And currently, I am employed as a bookkeeper. This paper seeks to compare my life with that of another person, utilizing fundamental social comparison theories. The other person I will be comparing myself to is my boss. He is a smart, kind and diligent man, whom I look up to as a mentor and role model. In this paper, I will utilize different theories and adopt changes if need be, as part of my attempts at self-improvement. Different types of relationships will also be discussed (Social Comparison Based on Attitude and Belief Systems, Interpersonal Relationships, Gender Issues, and Social Communication, 2012).

Comparison

Social comparison is the assessment of self against another, utilizing psychological principles influencing behavior, experience and judgment of individuals. As human beings we always compare ourselves with others socially. For instance, any particular news we might hear relating to other people, or their failures or achievements, we end up comparing the situation to one of ours.

In the same way, I always try to keep myself updated about my employer's achievements and his way of life in general, so that I can constantly assess if I am heading in the direction he currently is. In other words, I use him as a standard for self-assessment, and compare my life to his so that I can see where I fall short, enabling me to work towards improving such areas. Awareness of one's weaknesses and strengths can drive one into trying to compare their traits and weaknesses with those of others (Festinger, 1954).

For most individuals, social comparisons are guided by 3 questions: why we compare ourselves with others; whom do we compare ourselves with; and how these comparisons affect us. The social comparison theory deals with most of these questions (Festinger, 1954).

The reason behind "the why" for the majority of the social comparisons I make is enthusiasm. My human enthusiasm drives me to assess my own capabilities and beliefs. According to the theory of informal social communication, the capabilities other individuals play a big role in the creation of our own beliefs (Festinger, 1950, 1954). The urge to compare one's self with other individuals becomes stronger, when upon considering hypotheses one through to four of the theory, one can't find answers using references in the physical/tangible world.

The need is maintained by one's basic need to develop and uphold an accurate view of self, which often requires one to get informative feedback from those we are comparing ourselves to, and in this case, it was with the characteristics of my employer, particularly since there were no real standards to perform such evaluations with (Festinger 1954). Other studies have proven that individuals compare themselves with others even when real/objective standards are present (Social Comparison Based On Attitude and Belief Systems, Interpersonal Relationships, Gender Issues, and Social Communication, 2012).

The reason why I chose my employer/boss as a standard for comparison was based on several reasons. Choosing an individual who was too different from me would have led to uncertain or confusing outcomes, whereas choosing an individual in a similar situation or at a higher station at the workplace can give me better assessments about my own self. It is known that lateral social comparisons are important for self-assessment. However, self-improvement can only be attained by vertical/upward comparisons (Taylor et al., 1996).

It is important for one to choose a model of comparison very carefully, owing to the fact that there are usually many individuals to consider, but the available time is never enough (Mussweiler & Ruter, 2003). I attained efficiency in the selection process by utilizing concepts of routine as a tool. Among the individuals I was considering to be a model for comparison, both my employer and mother, were fitted the criteria for selection.

Social comparisons have many impacts on self-assessment and they played a key role in informing my belief of self before beginning the formal social comparison. By strictly following the "self-construal" system, I was able to see how individuals could look at intelligence as something flexible. Finally, I also learned that social comparisons have an impact on behavior, motivation and cognition, and the comparisons themselves are determined by these factors that they influence (Social Comparison Based on Attitude and Belief Systems, Interpersonal Relationships, Gender Issues, and Social Communication, 2012).

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Attitude and Belief Systems

According to William James, by changing one's attitude, one can change his or her own life. In my search for a social nirvana, I was cognizant of the good that some positive thinking could do to me. I was aware that replacing negative attitudes with positive one's could open up brilliant opportunities. I used to have negative attitudes towards others, but by replacing these attitudes with affection for myself and towards others, and forgiving the harm that had been done against me in the past, I was able to change my attitudes and start on a good path towards cultivating goodness in my heart.

By changing my belief system, I was able to change my attitude at the spiritual, emotional, behavioral and intellectual level, and when I socially compared myself with my employer, I was only able to see his good part. My employer had every trait that I ever wanted for myself; he was hardworking, efficient and could quickly understand things. Attitude is described as one's love or hate for something, which informs the decision/judgment they make on the 'thing', whether it is a skill, a person, an event or a place. An attitude can also either be negative, positive or both. Attitudes develop overtime from an inner belief system, comprising of cognitive, behavioral and affective, according to the ABC-model.

Thus, just by changing one's belief system, which in my case were the beliefs and assumptions, which informed my attitudes, I was able to become more positive and productive at work. This led me to the realization that my success was dependent on the belief systems and attitudes that I held concerning work and my workmates, particularly my employer (Social Comparison Based On Attitude and Belief Systems, Interpersonal Relationships, Gender Issues, and Social Communication, 2012).

Social Communication

Social norms are understood as what majorities think and do. In other words, social norms represent the opinion of the majority. There is no doubt that social norms heavily influenced my attitudes and belief systems, particularly because I was interacting with an individual who knows how to think and act (my employer). For social norms to have the best effect, I integrated a system of social communication for the distribution of the information that I could gather from all sectors of influence, in changing individual's attitudes and behaviors, based on what I had learned (Social Comparison Based On Attitude and Belief Systems, Interpersonal Relationships, Gender Issues, and Social Communication, 2012).

Gender Issues

Power differential comes into play when one compares himself or herself to their spouse. Recent studies have revealed that women often feel more deprived relative to men with regards to life outcomes, and that this perception always has a bearing on the relationship between spouses. Another study also revealed that even women in high stations at the workplace found that their life outcomes were not as rewarding as the men reported. However, I must confess that as far as my employer was concerned, I never felt as if I was at a social disadvantage. With regards to the second study, on satisfaction levels, right now I am focusing on advancing my career through learning from my employer who is patient and understanding, and I do not want to get into the politics of satisfaction levels between the sexes (Social Comparison Based

Interpersonal Relationships

Several studies have recommended, contrary to popular opinion, that a respectful, but distant communication is the perfect way of maintaining interpersonal relationships. Intimacy is obviously pleasurable, but there is no need for it to be the only mode of relating to others, and it is always interesting for me to note that quite a huge number of those who get into intimate relationships usually don't give any cognizance normal relationships. I have a personal policy to stay away from all the controversies and conflicts that could arise from interpersonal relationships, and focus on advancing my career. That is what made me to keep a professional distance, while working with my employer, even though I had become heavily dependent on him during the short time I was working for him (Social Comparison Based.....

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