Counseling Infidelity and Clients Essay

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Counseling Session: Tommy Brown

As noted by Meyers (2016), one of the greatest challenges for any counselor is dealing with a client with whom the counselor disagrees, morally and personally, or clients who have done unethical (but not illegal or dangerous) things. In the case of Tommy Brown, this individual in his thirties is married, but has had an affair with another woman, resulting in that woman’s pregnancy. This woman has decided to keep the child, and Tommy fears his wife will divorce him. In this instance, the counselor may need to overcome her personal feelings about Tommy’s behavior. According to the ACA Code of Ethics, “counselors know that they must not force their own beliefs on clients, but what happens when a client espouses beliefs that are hateful, personally hurtful or just uncomfortable to the counselor” may be difficult for the counselor to cope with (Meyers, 2016, par.19). For a humanistic approach, offering the client unconditional positive regard may seem challenging. On the other hand, the counselor can help Tommy identify the reasons he was tempted to embark upon an extramarital affair and show empathy without necessarily endorsing those feelings.

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Additionally, the counselor can help Tommy devise a realistic plan to inform his wife of what has transpired, and also a plan to talk to the woman about to have a baby about what she can expect in terms of support. Rehearsing the different communication strategies to use, and having a realistic view of what will transpire will be helpful for Tommy. The counselor should not place herself in a role of having to justify Tommy’s actions, but on the other hand she should not view herself as in need of passing judgement either. The counselor can also allow herself to have her own feelings about the actions as an individual, while still fulfilling the essential functions of a counselor, and enable Tommy to engage in productive and necessary activities, as well as gaining perspective on his own actions.
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