Discussion of Domestic Violence Essay

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Love Is Blind

Eve (feat. Faith Evans) (AZ Lyrics, N.d.)

Hey, yo I don't even know you and I hate you

See all I know is that my girlfriend used to date you

How would you feel if she held you down and raped you?

Tried and tried, but she never could escape you

She was in love and I'd ask her how? I mean why?

What kind of love from a nigga would black your eye?

What kind of love from a nigga every night make you cry?

What kind of love from a nigga make you wish he would die?

I mean shit he bought you things and gave you diamond rings

But them things wasn't worth none of the pain that he brings

And you stayed, what made you fall for him?

That nigga had the power to make you crawl for him

I thought you was a doctor be on call for him

Smacked you down cause he said you was too tall for him, huh?

That wasn't love, babygirl you was dreamin'

I could have killed you when you said your seed was growin' from his semen [1] - Love is blind, and it will take over your mind

What you think is love, is truly not You need to elevate and find [Repeat 1]

I don't even know you and I'd kill you myself

You played with her like a doll and put her back on the shelf

Wouldn't let her go to school and better herself

She had a baby by your ass and you ain't giving no help

Uh-huh big time hustler, snake motherfucker

One's born everyday and everyday she was your sucker

How could you beat the mother of your kids?

How could you tell her that you love her?

Don't give a fuck if she lives

She told me she would leave you, I admit it she did

But came back, made up a lie about you missing your kids

Sweet kisses, baby ain't even know she was your mistress

Had to deal with fist fights and phone calls from your bitches

Floss like you possess her, tellin' me to mind my business

Said that it was her life and stay the fuck out of it

I tried and said just for him I'll keep a ready clip [Repeat 1 (2x)]

I don't even know you and I want you dead

Don't know the facts but I saw the blood pour from her head

See I laid down beside her in the hospital bed

And about two hours later, doctors said she was dead

Had the nerve to show up at her mother's house the next day

To come and pay your respects and help the family pray

Even knelt down on one knee and let a tear drop

And before you had a chance to get up

You heard my gun cock

Prayin' to me now, I ain't God but I'll pretend

I ain't start your life but nigga I'mma bring it to an end

And I did, clear shots and no regrets, never

Cops comin' lock me under the jail

Nigga whatever my bitch, fuck it my sister

You could never figure out even if I let you live

What our love was all about

I considered her my blood and it don't come no thicker [Repeat 1]

Song Review

Eve is directly addressing her girlfriend's ex-boyfriend in the lyrics. She says "I don't even know you and I hate you" and seems to only know this man based on the stories that she has heard. However, these stories are enough to make her feel actual hate for the man. The primary reason she seems to hate him is because he raped her friend. He oppressed and abused her and still she thought she loved him. Eve points out that this is not "real" love and she was just "dreamin." She apparently stayed with the man long enough to have a child with him before they eventually were separated. Apparently Eve also tried to intervene on some occasion as well but was told to mind her own business.

The violence in the relationship eventually progressed and Eve's friend died in the hospital while Eve was present. Eve admits that she doesn't really know what happened to her friend, just that she was seriously hurt and based on the previous history in the relationship, she assumes that the man was responsible.

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Her response is full of rage and undoubtedly motivated by the pain she feels for the loss of her friend. She especially is angered by the fact the man had the audacity to pay respects to the family. What happens next in the song is pure retaliation. Eve puts a gun his head and pulls the trigger. She states that she feels no regrets for killing him and even if she had let him live, hey would never be able to understand what real love was -- as if he just did not contain the capacity for the emotion.

Discussion

There are many different levels of response that are associated with domestic violence. One of the primary screening techniques can be the investigation of a doctor or healthcare worker who suspects that domestic violence might be occurring. However, such individuals cannot provide an effective intervention on their own. The optimal response to domestic violence requires the coordinated efforts of all members of the community, including health care providers, community-based domestic violence advocacy groups, child welfare and protective service agencies, and the civil and criminal justice systems (Warshaw, N.d.). In the case of Eve's friend in the song, none of the institutions were able to provide any kind of intervention before it was ultimately too late.

It is not only the institutions that need to be more effective in combating domestic violence, but many have stated that it is the entire culture that needs to evolve. For example, when a domestic violence event occurs, it is already too late to prevent the violence that occurred. However, a more proactive approach, and a cultural evolution, could be more preventative and take steps to identify behaviors associated with domestic violence before the manifest into something worse. South Carolina has been noted as the state that is the most deadly in the nation for women. Attorney General Alan Wilson from South Carolina praised the state's measures that the state has taken to help law enforcement deal with abusers (Pardue, 2015). However, at the same time, he has called for a more holistic approach.

That's a major accomplishment (legislative reforms), "but it doesn't prevent the crime from happening." And that should be the state's new focus: "We've got to be proactive about changing the culture," he said in an interview with The Post and Courier (Pardue, 2015).

One commonly held misconception about domestic violence, is that if the violence gets to a certain level then the woman should just leave and find a safer environment for herself. However, it is not always that simple and there can be many obstacles that can prevent a woman from leaving. In the case of Eve's friend, she has a child with the man which is often the foundation of a strong bond. The woman can be torn about the how to deal with the situation and can stall, at her own expense, to protect the child's father. Furthermore, some women blame themselves for the things that happen to them. Others might not want to hurt the child's father by reporting them to the local police or other agencies. Still others may not be able to support themselves or their children without their spouse or significant other. When children are involved in relationships that have domestic violence problems, it can complicate the situation and leaving might not always be the best option, or at least seem feasible to the victim.

When a woman does decide to deal with domestic violence, there are now many resources that are available to them. NGOs provide a variety of support and assistance to battered women and can work with advocates who understand their situation and will help them determine for themselves what they need to do (Stop Violence Against Women, N.d.). They can also help women to identify the other local resources that may be able to help them in their situation. This resources might include a number of different options that were identified in the optimal response from institutions including the coordinated efforts of all members of the community, including health care providers, community-based domestic violence advocacy groups, child welfare and protective service agencies, and the civil and criminal justice systems (Warshaw, N.d.). Violent relationships tend to grow more violent over time such as the case with Eve's friend, therefore the sooner that a woman takes a stand against domestic violence, the better......

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