Failure to Thrive "Is There Research Proposal

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Eventually, he switched from pre-med to economics, much to the displeasure of his father. When he could play tennis at a competitive level, his parents allowed him a certain degree of liberty given that he excelled in something they knew they could not understand. When he stopped playing, the pressures to get a good job and to marry a nice Indian girl increased. It was like a double bondage. Why should he have to suffer for the careless actions of those men in the truck?

Worse, he could never move himself to either be wholly bad or wholly good -- he didn't have Western girlfriends in college like his friends, he felt too guilty, as if he was betraying his parents. But he couldn't obey his parents either. When his parents tried to pressure him to marry a young woman, the daughter of a family friend, he would not even meet her.

His mother died soon afterwards -- suddenly, a stroke. Her doctors had been lecturing her for years about the need to lose weight, to regulate her diabetes. But a woman whose main pride was her cooking would not listen. Yet Anand did not attribute her death to over-indulgence, rather he blamed himself for leaving his father a widower. He was sure his failure to marry had broken his mother's heart.

The body is cruel, thought Anand, looking at his father.

"I need to speak with you privately," said the doctor.

Unable to force himself to marry, and encumbered with only a mildly useless degree from a mediocre university, Anand drifted after graduation, unsettled. He had resolved that to make a great deal of money was the only way to prove his worth to his father. With money, he rationalized, it would not matter who he married, and money, unlike talent at athletics, was lasting and endured.

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But Anand did not have the temperament to wait patiently and work himself up slowly from the bottom, nor did he have the naturally energetic and extroverted personality that makes a talented financial rainmaker. Long, dark years followed -- currency speculation, failed start-ups, unethical business partners, failed joint ventures and failed attempts to raise capital. However, Anand finally met with some success -- doing what he loved. He created a sports information website that became extremely successful. Then, shortly afterwards, his father became ill. It seemed like the supreme irony -- just when he felt that he had redeemed himself, and avenged his old injury, life took another sad turn.

The doctor explained to Anand that the situation was hopeless. The doctor did not use that word, but that was his meaning. Anand explained the state of his father's affairs to him. No, his father was a widower. Yes, he was his father's only surviving child. Yes, his father had a will. Most of his father's relatives were in India and unlikely to be willing or able to come on such short notice to see his father, but he would notify his uncle and a few other close relatives, in case they wanted to take a plane to America. To put him at ease, the doctor chatted briefly about Anand -- his past and his future.

"Your father must be proud of you," said the doctor. "Your success at tennis and in business."

But how much that leaves out, thought Anand -- the years apart, the many failures, and the successes that could not buy his father's love….....

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