Hockey Seen As a Religion Thesis

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I think we've just proved that hockey can truly be defined as a religion -- at least in Canada.

Now, as to its "ritualness." Is hockey played "in accordance with social custom or normal protocol?" That would be the question our friend Merriam-Webster would ask in order to define hockey as a ritual (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary).

My question would be how could anyone look at the game of hockey and not see that there are social customs and normal protocols involved with it? Those customs might include ramming the opposing player into the glass, slashing him with the hockey stick, high-lowing the opposition in order to put him out of the game but hopefully not in the hospital, generously standing directly in front of the opposing goalie "to protect him" from those mean, onrushing players with the big sticks, swearing, and just general fighting. Now, those are some social customs! I'm not sure about the players protecting the opposing goalie. I may be wrong there.

That brings us to "normal protocol." Does hockey involve protocol or "a code prescribing strict adherence to correct etiquette and precedence?" As our friend Merriam describes the term protocol (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary).

Well, duh! How about, wait until the player's back is turned then crush him into the boards? Or how about a player using the middle finger to signify his comaraderie with opposing players?

Maybe you think of the bench-clearing gatherings on the field of play to enjoy one another's company.

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..and at the same time smash his face? Of course, there is etiquette, and the precedence of, "he did it to me in the last game, so now I can kill him."

Have we proven hockey to be a ritual as well as a religion? I believe we have. What more evidence could there be?

The Canadians have well-defined the coaches and players on their hockey teams. And if nothing else proves the game a religion, then listen to the job descriptions of the coach, star player and rookie for the final proof.

The head coach leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and -- wait for it -- gives policy to God. There it is. Any human who give policy to God has to be religious. The captain leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm, and talks with God. The rookie no one is sure about. He runs into buildings, recognizes a locomotive two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can't stay afloat with a life preserver, and talks to walls! Well, two out of three isn't bad......

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