Letter to a Friend. Include Term Paper

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The first component of the I-Statement (reading this from my notes) is to state your feeling in the first person. For you, this would be "I feel angry when you lie to me about paying your part of the rent." This is maybe a little too direct and accusatory so I should tone it down even though your roommate has broken two promises to pay so far. Try something a little less attacking like "I feel angry that you have not paid me back for three months rent." Now that is better and not so attacking. You have also taken care of the second component of the I-statement which is connecting the felling to the issue as well. Now (according to my notes) connect this statement with what you want to happen, by saying this "I feel angry that you have not paid me back for three months rent and need to have your portion by the end of the month or I will have to ask you to leave." This now includes all three components of the I-Statement, which include your statement of feeling, the connecting of the feeling with the issue, and what you want to happen. I would tell your roommate you want checks, post-dated to their paydays, for the portion owed and that you want this resolved by the end of the month or they will have to leave.

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This sets a deadline and also sends the message you are angry about being stiffed for three months of rent, and that four months is off the table, there is no way you will finance that - that's 25% of the year! No way, stand your ground there. Now that you have the I-Statement down, it's time to create a plan for how to present this to the person.

First, prepare what a financial burden paying their share of the rent is on your financial condition. Have some quick statistics available, as you mentioned over lunch. Something close to 40% of your checks are now gobbled up every two weeks making just the rent payment, that is very rough.

With that information in mind and the I-statement in mind, tell your roommate you need to talk one-on-one. Schedule time alone and go over how the financial burden on you is very, very tough to handle and it is making you angry about the lack of payment. Then say the I-statement defined in this letter. Ask them what the problem is, and really take time at this point to listen. Be sympathetic, empathetic and ask what can be done. Explain with.....

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