Loner in Me I Have Always Been Thesis

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Loner in Me

I have always been a loner, it seems. I am an only child, and I never minded, really. Sometimes I wish I had a brother or sister, but more often, when I see the many problems some siblings suffer, I'm grateful I'm the only one, but it wasn't always so.

When I was younger, I would beg my mother for a little brother or sister, never knowing she couldn't have any more children. How could I know? She'd just smile, and send me out to play, or to read a book, one of my favorite occupations when I was young, but I'm sure it hurt her, yet she never let on.

I used to go to bed and dream of having a baby brother or sister to love and care for. I was jealous when I saw other families who had lots of children, and wondered why they had so many, and we had just me. I gradually stopped asking, something inside me knew that mom would never have any more children -- it was just me and mom and dad. That's when I really seemed to get comfortable in my role as a loner, and it's never worn off. I'm a loner, and here's what it's like to live away from the maddening crowd.

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Oh, it's not that I don't like other people, I do, but in small doses. In the library for example, I enjoy studying for a while with my friends. But sometimes, I just enjoy walking the stacks by myself and looking for the perfect book for a long weekend read or one more research text for my next paper. Sometimes, I'm the only one there, and I like it. It makes me feel as if the library is "mine" for a short moment or two.

It's not that I'm anti-social or anything. I don't spend inordinate amounts of time in my room being alone, or avoid going to events where I know there will be a lot of people. I like the mall and football games as much as anyone.

It's just that I also relish my time alone. Sometimes, it's just time for me to think. Sometimes it's just time for me not to think. Sometimes, it's just time and space. I enjoy taking long walks, especially this time of year, with or without….....

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