Marriage and Family Experience Approaches Term Paper

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They experienced things, such as sex and drugs, earlier than others, but their adolescence lasted longer because it was hard to break away from their single parent. Divorce affects these children most of all during adulthood. In romantic relationships, fear of abandonment can make them choose people they feel safe with, even though the partner may be abusive. She found that only 40% of those now in their 30s and 40s are married. The rest live in various kinds of relationships from cohabitation to still dating. More than 50% have chosen to not have children "because they believe they know too little about good parenting" (New 1).

Childhood is not fun for children of divorced families. They talk about logistics surrounding the holidays and the stress from two parents who vie for their love. They have memories of sadness and loneliness surrounding holidays, rather than happy memories. They were not allowed to play, as other children did, on the holidays and sometimes throughout the year, if they were shuffled back and forth between parents.

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Wallerstein and other authorities on this issue urge parents to allow children time to play and to focus on the needs of the children, rather than their own needs, in spite of lawyers and mediators haggling over custody rights that do not allow the children to have time for being a child (New 1).

Children who come out of divorced families with healthy attitudes and lives have the support of one or two adults who are steady and loving in their lives. Perhaps it is a grandparent, perhaps a teacher or coach at school, perhaps one of the parents who was stable. Growing up in a divorced family and becoming a young adult is a difficult feat, but is appears many children cope successfully, because of stabilizing influences.

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