Pam Houston's How to Talk Essay

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She is no longer describing her embarrassing romantic relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, but describing the reader's involvement in such a relationship. Furthermore, she is not describing how she contributed to the unhappiness of the relationship, but how the reader did so. What Houston makes clear is that is no clear-cut story about a dog of a man cheating on a woman, but about how clashing expectations and gender norms can create tremendous dissatisfaction in a relationship.

For example, Houston's narrator approaches the Hunter's probable sexual involvement with another woman as infidelity; even her best male friend characterizes the hunter as a cheater. However, the short story makes it clear that the hunter has never agreed to a monogamous relationship with the narrator, and has, instead, made it clear that he is not interested in having such a relationship. He has discussed plans for the future, but has carefully omitted the woman from his plans. The narrator even cautions, "Label these conversations future perfect, but don't expect the present to catch up with them." (Houston, p.15).

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Despite these warnings, the narrator continues to pin romantic expectations on the hunter, which he does not meet, and which he has no intention of meeting. It is this dissatisfaction that marks the story and makes it so poignant. The hunter seems truly upset that they cannot have the easy, open relationship that they apparently had in the beginning. The narrator seems heartbroken that he would sleep with another woman, and even quickly hurries herself to another man's bed to help ease the sting of rejection. To the reader, it is clear that this a doomed relationship, and, yet, it is somehow still possible to hope for a happy ending for the couple, whom the reader last views making love under a Christmas tree filled with ornaments picked by the woman with other men and the man with other women.

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