Rules of Politeness Essay

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Total Length: 945 words ( 3 double-spaced pages)

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Breaching Experiment

One of Garfinkel's observations is that social norms and rules are so commonly accepted and integrated as part of natural human interaction that they are only noticed consciously when they are violated. In order to observe the extent to which this is true, this experiment will focus on saying "please" and "thank you." These expressions of desire and gratitude are so commonly ingrained in human consciousness that they are used thousands of times in daily interactions. As human beings, we say "please" and "thank you" to adhere to commonly-held rules of politeness. It is one of the first things children learn when they begin to acquire speech. I believe it will be interesting to observe how people react when they do not receive the required phrases of request or thanks when asked to assist.

Description

Specifically, the experiment will be conducted in a shopping mall and a restaurant. The idea is to request assistance without saying please and not to say thank you when the assistance has been provided. During the experiment, one of my experiences was that it was surprisingly difficult not to follow a request with "please" and assistance with "thank you." My interpretation of this difficulty is that I have myself been so conditioned to adhere to this social norm that it has become a habit I do not even have to think about. I, like most others in society, have been taught the rules politeness from a very young age, and this habit is therefore extremely difficult to break.

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I had to consciously remember not to make polite utterances while interacting with shopkeepers and waiters.

Population

The population for the experiment included personnel working in stores and restaurants. Mostly, these were shopping assistants and waiters. On each occasion, I did my shopping and dining with a friend. To maintain the variety of the population, a different friend accompanied me on each occasion. The friends were not given any information about the experiment, and therefore formed part of the experiment population.

Results

There were three common reactions among the shopping and restaurant professionals to my breach. Most commonly, I received somewhat hostile stares. When I did not say please when asking a clothing shop assistant for help, for example, she stared at me in confusion for a second or two, after which both her look and attitude became somewhat hostile, although in a reserved way. I also saw her exchanging whispers with one of her colleagues as my friend and I left the store. In the restaurant I visited on the same day, the waiter who served us was not openly hostile, but he was far more distant than the servers at that establishment usually are.

The second-most common reaction I received from servers and assistants was simply being ignored. I observed no change in the behavior….....

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