Satire "Chan Buddhism No Longer Essay

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"I might have to start watching television. This is getting really boring." Many monks are frustrated. Chanting the Lotus Sutra, which once used to offer a strong point of concentration, has become extremely difficult. Some older monks and nuns say not to worry. They claim that Chan Buddhism is old enough to survive yet another crisis in its long legacy in Asia. "If Chan is not here, and Chan is not now, then Chan will eventually come back. Everyone knows that religion goes in twenty-year cycles!"

The Chan elders also say they gave up on Pure Land a long time ago. "Those Pure Land people should just give up," one octogenarian Chan monk living outside of Beijing said. "Did you see what their monks are wearing these days? Please! Someone get them on that show where they give you a total makeover." Another Chan monk said, "In Pure Land Buddhism, they burn way too much incense.

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It makes me cough! They need to clean up their act." Some Chan Buddhists say that because of air pollution rampant throughout China and especially in its cities, the religion should change its name from Pure Land Buddhism to Impure Land Buddhism.

Pure Land Buddhists counter the claim that Chan is the Buddha's true middle path. "I think they are the left path," one practitioner said. However, others say that Chan is the right-hand path of the Buddha. Chan commentators remain silent on the issue, refusing to comment on any path to Enlightenment. "Silence is they key to a Buddha mind," several monks told reporters. "The Buddha's mother talked too much so he understood that completely." In spite of all the recent setbacks, Chan spokespeople remain hopeful. While chopping wood and carrying water, Chan Buddhists can at least be pinned down somewhere, somehow......

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"Satire Chan Buddhism No Longer" (2009, May 06) Retrieved June 4, 2026, from
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