Self-Discovery in Clack of Tiny Essay

Total Length: 1389 words ( 5 double-spaced pages)

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His final thoughts at the conclusion of the essay are significant because we know with certainty that Theresa would have accepted him had he been honest with her and himself. The narrator thinks of how things might have turned out between the two of them and, with a little sarcasm, he considers the meals they might have concocted had they remained friends over the years. Theresa is seared into the narrator's mind because she is the one that first uttered anything to him about being gay and, in doing so, she prodded the narrator into facing the truth about himself. This honesty about himself is more difficult to face that the narrator can imagine and this is why Theresa is important. Had she never said anything to him, he might have tried to mask the truth longer, stalling the process of discovering himself. Theresa was a catalyst for truth and honesty.

Self-acceptance lies at the heart of the story. Truth can only be discovered when one learns to accept oneself. The narrator illustrates how difficult this can be in a world that is filled with stereotypes and misgivings about sexuality. Self-acceptance is a journey. The narrator's realization that he is gay is highlighted at the party. The party only reinforces what the narrator already knows but is afraid to admit. The fact that he cannot kiss a girl without the image of Grady entering his mind is reason enough for him to stop wondering about his sexuality. However, he is living at a time when it is not commonly acceptable behavior to be gay and the negativity associated with being gay is overwhelming. When our narrator admits to hearing a "clack of tiny sparks" (288), he is indicating that the sexual sparks he should feel for women are somewhere "over there" and nowhere near him. When he says that he sees the sparks "flare here and there in the dark like meager, short-lived stars" (288), he is reaffirming the notion that he is gay and attraction to women is virtually nonexistent in his world.
The conclusion of the essay is important because it demonstrates how far our narrator has come since his days in the ninth grade. The point of the essay is to convey that, finally, our narrator has learned to accept himself as he is and we have no reason to assume that he is the least bit unhappy about it. This journey is not without difficulty but it ends with greater appreciation of self. Because the narrator's journey is one of an inner struggle that last for years, we can appreciate the acceptance he feels at the end of the essay. It is only when the narrator accepts the truth about himself does the world feel comfortable. Self-acceptance only arrives when we can not only be honest with ourselves but be comfortable with ourselves as well.

Clack of Tiny Sparks" explores the complicated and sometimes painful experience of self-discovery. Teenagers have a difficult time discovering who they are and being different or considered abnormal is a painful path to take growing up. The narrator illustrates this struggle through his interactions with his friends and, more importantly, his family. He is never comfortable enough around them to mention anything. It is important to realize that he must learn to be comfortable with himself as well as with others before he can fully appreciate who he is. This essay conveys a strong message that we should accept who we are instead of try to change our identity or adopt what someone else thinks we should be. The narrator would have encountered some difficulty by being more assertive with his sexuality when he was younger but he would have avoided all of the self-doubt that plagued him for years. The message of honesty with self and others becomes significant, as that is the only way in which can truly grow and, as this essay illustrates, that path can sometimes be covered with thorns and barbs.

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"Self-Discovery In Clack Of Tiny" (2009, February 25) Retrieved May 18, 2024, from
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"Self-Discovery In Clack Of Tiny", 25 February 2009, Accessed.18 May. 2024,
https://www.aceyourpaper.com/essays/self-discovery-clack-tiny-24529