Sex, Power, Intimacy How Does Term Paper

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Part Three: In "Romance: Sweet Love," bell hooks writes about the problems of "romantic love," and "being out of control." What does she think is wrong with it? What is the alternative? What do you think of her argument?

According to bell hooks, romantic love within Western culture is idealized as a feeling, rather than actions. Instead of caring that is shown in a material fashion, it is depicted as something utterly inscrutable and indefinable. This idealization paradoxically produces cynicism, as more and more young people are convinced that love cannot be found, because finding the perfect partner is impossible. The craving for love is as deep as childhood, given the vital necessity of love for children to flourish. Yet love has become so objectified and commodified, that when someone speaks of a yearning for love, it is assumed that he or she simply needs a partner of the opposite gender, and is not engaged in a philosophical inquiry or deep-rooted search for meaning. Having a partner is not the same as love, stresses hooks. Look how many partners hurt rather than nurture their lovers -- is this an act of true love?

Love is seen as women's impetus for existence -- yet male writers like Shakespeare and Dante are idealized for writing about love more than women.

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Women are subsumed in their importance in culture to speak about romantic love in a meaningful fashion. hooks offers an alternative view of love that is broader-sweeping than what can exist between two individuals. Love can take place within a community, within a nurturing culture, and does not have to be confined to what exists between two human beings. hook's vision of love may not fit on a Hallmark card or be neatly subsumed into ideas of heterosexuality, identity, or conventional marital partnerships, but it seems more realistic and sustaining than the notion that one person must be 'everything' to another person. It allows for love to exist even when sexual attraction has diminished or is nonexistent. And it means that love is not something that has to be meanly and narrowly confined to the family -- love can be spread around, and must be spread around, to all people with whom the individual interacts......

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