Social Importance of Choosing Civility: Book Report

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He seems to suggest that treating strangers like extended members of the same social group, which, in a modern society they are, will help erase the feeling of cultural disconnect that many people in modern society experience.

Perhaps Forni's most important sociological contribution comes in his chapter about asserting oneself. The competitive nature of modern society has created a scenario in which people feel as if asserting oneself and being polite are an either/or proposition, and that one cannot assert oneself without being rude. Forni disagrees with this proposition. Instead, he believes that "assertiveness ought to be a natural consequence of [one] being reasonably sensitive to [one's] own needs" (Forni, p. 111). Moreover, he believes that a study in civility will help people learn how to simultaneously be assertive and show respect for the needs of others. "We can choose to pay no because we are entitled to exercise control over our own expenditures of time and energy.

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It is our time; it is our energy; it ought to be our choice. By saying no to someone else and yes to ourselves, we aren't taking something that belongs to others; we are simply keeping something that is rightfully ours" (Forni, p.112). The way that Forni distinguishes between showing respect and consideration for others and harming oneself in an attempt to appease others strikes at the very heart of the issue of manners. Manners should not require pain, distress, inconvenience, or discomfort on the part of the person exercising them. Instead, manners are about being a system of mutual respect; respect for the person one encounters and respect for oneself. Understanding that idea is critical….....

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