Toddler's Dilemma Part of the Evolution of Essay

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Toddler's Dilemma

Part of the evolution of toddlerhood is the establishment of an independent identity for the child. Physically, the child becomes more independent and capable of physical exploration. The child can walk, crawl, jump, and inspect the world around him or her. However, in addition to this new freedom there is also new awareness of the need for attachment. The child will engage in hugging, clinging, and other behaviors which reflect the child's need for the parent (Liberman 1991: 6). The parent must simultaneously engage in 'letting go' behaviors (encouraging the child to explore) and protective behaviors (allowing the child to explore) (Liberman 1991:6-7).

The parent must allow for the child to experience the surrounding world in a safe fashion. The child is not yet able to cognitively evaluate threats in an accurate way. For example, a toddler may be afraid of the dark but not a stranger offering candy. The presence of caregivers empowers the child to experiment and explore his or her limitations and possibilities. An interesting study of how children mirrored adult expectations was found that even when given limitless freedom to play, children tended to stick to the borders of what their caregivers considered acceptable behavior.

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As well as physically, this may be true socially as well -- a child with a fearful parent may be less apt to explore new social relationships because of having internalized the message of wariness from the parent's behaviors as well explicit instructions.

Children within this age group are always testing their limitations but always need a base of security. In fact, older toddlers may sometimes seem to regress, needing the assurance of their parents' affection after a period of initial enthusiastic independence. Children may become more clinging and overreact to minor cuts, scrapes, and the parent's refusal to capitulate to the child. Parents are often understandably frustrated by the children's reactions. However, part of secure parenting involves validating the child's emotions as 'feelings' even if they do not give into the child's every whim a temper tantrum. The parent can acknowledge the child's emotion without capitulating to it, communicating the idea that the parent still loves the child even if the parent is currently angry. The parent can also understand where these apparently contradictory responses are coming from: the child is simultaneously fearful of his or her own independence even while he or she seeks to….....

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