Trust Within a Marriage Essay

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Conflict Management



Resolving of conflicts between two people is usually simple. However, in many situations, resolution of conflicts can be made more difficult. This is true when it comes to workplace situations, per chance conflicts that arise with strangers and so forth. However, when family or friendship is in the mix and a conflict is present, resolution and solutions can be fleeting and hard to come by. Not only are there personal feelings and a lot of history involved, there can also be a lot of bogging down and movement away from clean solutions as there can be a focus on things that are not really the problem. Rather, they are just a manifestation or symptom of the problem. While the particular details matter a great deal, there needs to be a weeding out of what the real problem is and everyone involved has to be committed to focusing on that actual problem and the solution to the same.



Analysis



Many people falter and fail when it comes to conflict resolution, it is almost always possible given the right cooperation and working together and this even holds true with situations that revolve around families and friends. As noted in the introduction, there is the "same old issue" that is present even if the situations and details surrounding bickering and fighting differ. For example, dishes not being washed and put away after dinner is a problem but the cause of that problem could be a number of things including improper or unclear division of household duties, the responsible party being a bit of a slob, the responsible party being overwhelmed by life's requirements and so on. Given those disparate causes for a singular manifestation of an issue, it would serve a person coming upon this even to take care and make sure that they know what is really going (or not going on) before they swing into action and perhaps put their foot in their mouth (Marchand, and Hock) (Beebe).



Irrespective of the actual issue in play, another important factor and facet of a relationship that has to be looked at is trust. If there is a lack of trust and a lack of faith in a relationship, this can lead to problems popping off much quicker than they could or should. To come back to the dishes example, if a third party to the person responsible just viscerally reacts and does not think things through first, that could be a sign of lack of trust. It could also mean that the reactionary party is being too impulsive in general and they are not taking care to assess the situation before initiating a response. Of course, the dishes not being done is a sanitary and cleanliness issue. However, it has to be recognized that there are entirely innocent reasons why the dishes might not be done. Of course, if it happens a number of times in a short span, that is also a red flag. However, it still does not mean that the responsible party is a slob or otherwise shirking their duties just because they choose to (Fincham, Beach, and Davila) (Beebe).



Beyond the above, there could be a confluence of things going on. To say that there is only one issue might be accurate but there may be more than one thing that is going on. For example, the dishes thing above could be a combination of depression and being overwhelmed by a job and/or duties relating to kids. As to why precisely that is happening, it could very well be that the person has too much to do and not enough day to do it. It could be that the other parent involved is not pulling their weight as they could or should be.
It could be that that there just needs to be better structure and organization. Regardless, there needs to be an identification of what is going wrong, what should be happening instead and what can be done to get from the first of those to the second of those. If there are multiple issues, there might be a need to address them one at a time rather than trying to assail them all at once. Beyond that, it is entirely possible that a neutral third party such as a counselor or psychologist might be needed to get the process going. Sometimes it does take a person that is removed from the dysfunction and problem so as to incur someone to finally figure out that perhaps that they are part of the problem or, at the very least, are not part of the solution (Fincham, Beach, and Davila) (Beebe).



A linchpin of making any relationship work is communication. If there is not a true and equal dialog between a couple, for example, then it is only a matter of time before problems emerge. For example, if a male in a married relationship is a chauvinist, that will tend to be on full display based on the way that he speaks with his wife, reacts to her and considers her perspective in terms of authority and legitimacy. Chances are he will consider her "beneath him" and this will exude strongly from all of communications and reactions. That is just one reason why communication can go south. Basically, if there is a situation where one person does not feel valued or respected by another, the reaction that will eventually manifest will not be a good one. Feelings will get hurt and the totality of what is going on can spiral out of control from there. Just as one example, a man or woman that feels that they are not loved and/or are not getting the affection or attention that they want will tend to develop a wandering eye and go outside of the relationship in terms of intimacy. Intimacy, in this instance, could include sensitive conversations (i.e. an emotional affair) or it could involve sexual contact and beyond. Regardless of the depth or breadth of this relationship, it is a betrayal of the marriage (or relationship) and the person engaging in this, no matter who slighted they feel, needs to get back to resolving the situation with their pre-existing relationship and they should do this before they even think about trying to move on to someone else (Casad, Salazar, and Macina) (Beebe).



Speaking of getting to the bottom of what is going on and how to resolve it, the assignment that this report completes asks the author of this report to narrow things down to three major factors or questions. These are the nonverbal behaviors that are in play, the listening styles that are being executed and the amount of trust, as mentioned before, that is existing in the relationship. As far as non-verbal….....

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Works Cited


Beebe, S. (2013). Interpersonal Communication (7th ed.). New York, NY: Pearson College Div.

Casad, Bettina J., Marissa M. Salazar, and Veronica Macina. "The Real vs. The Ideal:

Predicting Relationship Satisfaction And Well-Being From Endorsement Of Marriage

Myths And Benevolent Sexism." Psychology Of Women Quarterly 39.1 (2015): 119-

129. Education Abstracts (H.W. Wilson). Web. 22 Oct. 2016.

Fincham, Frank D, Steven R. H. Beach, and Joanne Davila. "Longitudinal Relations Between

Forgiveness And Conflict Resolution In Marriage." Journal Of Family Psychology: JFP:

Journal Of The Division Of Family Psychology Of The American Psychological

Association (Division 43) 21.3 (2007): 542-545. MEDLINE. Web. 22 Oct. 2016.

Marchand, Jennifer F., and Ellen Hock. "Mothers' And Fathers' Depressive Symptoms And

Conflict-Resolution Strategies In The Marriage And Children's Externalizing And

Internalizing Behaviors." Journal Of Genetic Psychology 164.2 (2003): 227. Psychology

and Behavioral Sciences Collection. Web. 22 Oct. 2016.

KULIK, LIAT, SHULAMITH WALFISCH, and GABRIEL LIBERMAN. "Spousal Conflict

Resolution Strategies And Marital Relations In Late Adulthood." Personal

Relationships 23.3 (2016): 456-474. Psychology and Behavioral Sciences Collection.

Web. 22 Oct. 2016.

Milholland, Tom A., and Arthur W. Avery. "Effects Of Marriage Encounter On Self-Disclosure,

Trust And Marital Satisfaction." Journal Of Marital And Family Therapy 8.2 (1982): 87-

89. ERIC. Web. 22 Oct. 2016.

Phutela, Deepika. "The Importance Of Non-Verbal Communication." IUP Journal Of Soft

Skills 9.4 (2015): 43-49. Business Source Premier. Web. 22 Oct. 2016.

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