Wolterstorff S Lament for a Son and Grieving Essay

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Five Stages of Grief and Wolterstorff's Lament

Wolterstorff (1987) finds joy after his loss by "owning it" as he notes in his Preface (p. 6). He makes the loss of his son part of his identity rather than some obstacle to his happiness or to getting back to the way things were: he accepts it and embraces it and allows it to transform him on a deep, emotional, and psychological level. He also strives to make it impactful on a spiritual level and works towards "owning it redemptively" (p. 6) so that it might make him more completely in the light of God and His mysterious ways. This stage of acceptance, the final stage of grieving according to the Kubler-Ross model comes only after a process, in which the other first four stages of the model are navigated by Wolterstorff -- denial, anger, bargaining and depression. This paper will show how Wolterstorff moves through these five stages and emerges via the final stage of acceptance to find joy in the hope of a Resurrection.

The root of Wolterstorff's joy, of course, is found in his faith -- which allows him the hope of the Resurrection (even though it is no comfort initially because the impact of the death is too great for comfort to be felt). He feels what Christ feels on the cross when he exclaims, "My God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mat 27:46). Although he participates in the "leave taking" when he touches his son's dead body and makes his son's death finally real to himself (p. 36), Wolterstorff does not actually take joy in this process: as he says, "I buried myself that warm June day" (p. 42). The joy comes, however, through owning the experience -- and by doing that he prepares himself to accept the gift that faith in Christ gives, which is the hope of a Resurrection through Jesus Christ.

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Christ is the way and the life (John 14:6) and that means that Wolterstorff can hope in Christ that he sees his son again in the afterlife. This is a joyful consolation for a man who is grieving immensely.

Thus, the meaning and significance of death in the light of the Christian narrative is this: death is a punishment for sin, a punishment that has to be paid by all men, who are born of Adam (for it was he along with Eve who first fell and thus passed on the banishment from paradise to their children). But through Christ, death is not the final word. Christ overcomes death through His own Resurrection. His own sacrifice on the cross to atone for the sins of mankind also opens the gates of heaven so that those who are faithful to God's will can spend eternal life with Him in heaven. Thus, the meaning of death is that all men owe a debt to God -- a debt that is paid through death, the separation of the body and soul; but this separation is only temporary; the body and the soul will be re-united after the Final Judgment and those who are deemed worthy of eternal life will join God in heaven, body and soul re-united; those who are not faithful will have body and soul re-united but in hell, where there will be no enjoyment of the beatific vision. Therefore, the significance of death is that it should serve as a reminder to Christians that they should stay faithful to….....

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