Family and Marriage Division of Term Paper

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It appears that the work each of my parents did in their roles aligned with their attitudes of what they felt they should be doing. In the beginning of their relationship up until two or three years before their divorce, my mother clearly wanted to do the things associated with mother and wife. My father was also very comfortable as the typical, somewhat distant, working father who designated specific times for fathering and family (Soroka and Bryjak 300-301). In the years leading up to their divorce I think that their comfort with their roles changed. Since we (the children) were getting older, my mother did not need to be tied to the home as much as she had been previously. She wanted to do more activities, like take classes. However, this made my father uncomfortable since he did not see any reason why things would change. He was uncomfortable that my mother wanted to go back to school of work full time, possibly because it might be uncomfortable for him. Additionally, he seemed unwilling to change the status quo (Soroka and Bryjak 301).

If the state had any role in my parents' roles and the way that they changed, it was probably in the form of taxes and child support. My parents would not have divorced if my mother had not have expected to get child support from my father. She did not make enough on her own to support herself and three children. Since my father was not abusive, I imagine that she would have stayed with my father if they had lived in a place that did not require my father to support his own children financially. For example, fifty years ago perhaps it would not have been an option for a woman in my mother's position (Soroka and Bryjak 297-298). Additionally, I feel that my mother would not have left my father if there was any chance that she would not have been granted custody of her children.

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Since some countries are more restrictive to women in terms of custody, the state affected what options my mother had (Stokes 308-315).

My family did, and does, maintain many examples of gender inequality. My father still mows my mother's lawn years after their divorce because my mother "can't work the lawnmower." My mother also bakes my father breads and cakes around the holidays since she knows that he will not bake these items for himself. These actions were examples of each of my parents filling their gender roles when they were married, and they continue to show that my parents feel that certain things are male or female. My father does not expect my mother to try and work the lawnmower, even though I expect that it is no harder than keeping up her own house, three children, and a full-time job. My father, as well, will never attempt to bake a cake. In fact, I doubt that he even has the cooking utensils necessary to do so. While some of these decisions may be based on personal preference and convenience, they are also undeniably linked to my mother and father's association with what they are supposed to be doing. Their roles were defined in their marriage and continue to be defined in this way. As Soroka and Bryjak point out, gender stereotypes are maintained and perpetuate themselves since people continue to act the same way, teaching the next generation that that is how it is done (228). Through gender socialization, my mother and father learned how they should interact with one another, with their family, and with their children and they continued to act that way throughout their lives.

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