Interpersonal Conflict Conflict Resolution Project Essay

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A: Preparation for Interaction

We all encounter various conflicts in our day-to-day lives – be it with friends, relatives, workmates, or even schoolmates. Currently, I’m in such conflict with a schoolmate (let us call him XJ) for an amount of money I lent to him four months ago. I lent XJ the said amount to enable him purchase a home theatre system he was getting at a huge discount. At the time, I did not have sufficient cash with me. So, I explained to XJ that I had invested in a particular company’s stock and was considering selling the same as the price of that specific stock had largely stagnated for a long time. XJ requested that I advance him a total of $400, which he would refund within a period of three months. Further, we agreed that the amount would incur an interest charge of 7% per month so as to compensate me for any gains I could have made after re-investing the amount in a more volatile stock.

A month ago, XJ offered to refund the amount he had borrowed. However, instead of refunding a total of $490 (principal plus accrued interest), he offered to refund only the principal amount he had borrowed. I protested this move as our initial arrangement had been crystal clear. In his defense, XJ pointed out that returns in the stock market were not guaranteed and instead of the profit I was hoping for, I could perhaps have made a loss within the 3-month period under consideration. He further pointed out that as a matter of fact, he might have saved me from an imminent loss. To me, this was a classic example of ‘breach of contract.’ I could have sued. To cut the long story short, I did not accept the principal amount from XJ – and as a consequence, we have not been in good terms since then.

My goal at this point is to convince XJ that he rightfully owes me $490 and to convince him to pay the total amount owed. My desired outcome of our engagement is for us to rekindle our friendship after XJ appreciates the relevance of keeping his word.

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There are various approaches I could make use of in seeking to resolve my conflict with XJ. To begin with, I intend to control my ego and seek XJ out. I will, thus, make the first contact. Given that we are not in good terms, and given that our engagements could end up being argumentative instead of conciliatory, I will invite a neutral friend to play the mediation role. Next, during our actual meeting, I intend to be more of a listener in the initial stages. This is more so the case given that as West and Turner (2008) point out, in seeking to resolve interpersonal conflict, it is important for each of the parties in the conflict “to see things from another’s point of view…” (193). I will, thus, reevaluate his reasons in an attempt to understand his reasons for adopting the course of action he embraced.

Third, I will ensure that I obtain equal footing. I would not want a situation whereby XJ feels inferior (or disadvantaged from an interactive point of view) just because I am the one who lent him money. Fourth, I will keep my anger in check. Towards this end, even if I feel angered by any statement XJ makes, I will try my best not to interrupt him or interject when it is his turn to speak. Lastly, I will strive to explain my position in a rational and honest manner. My argument in this case….....

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